With Emotions Without Love

‘Macchiato..?’ I tried to figure out the coffee name written on the menu.

I was at a café in South Bombay, a bubble for the richest in the city, where you find flashy cars, beautiful bungalows, and fake smiles on fancy faces. It is the part of Mumbai which gives you an overview of a smart city where a common Indian doesn’t even seem to exist.

After waiting for almost twenty minutes, she finally appeared.

‘Rohan? Right?’

‘Yes, you’re?’

‘Hello, I’m Avantika.’

We shook hands.

She was good looking but double my age.

‘I apologize for being so late. I just got stuck somewhere.’

‘Yeah, you must have,’ I murmured to myself.

‘so you are the--‘

‘Yes, I’m a sperm donor.’ I said.

After a pause, she continued, ‘first, feel relaxed and be comfortable. Would you like to have something ? tea or coffee ?’

I would feel relaxed as soon as I sprint out of here and reach my hostel, I thought, while my mind did its calculations. That coffee might prove to be a costly one.

‘No, thanks. I haven’t come here to have a cup of coffee with you,’ I said. I rebuffed her offer.

She didn’t counter back but just gazed me, maintaining a phony smile on her face. Suddenly, I realized that I was replying curtly without any reason.

‘I’m sorry. I think coffee would be a better option.’ I said looking at her.

‘It’s ok.’ She ordered coffee.

Within five minutes, the waiter was there with coffee. But in those five minutes we discussed how we knew Dr. Mehta, she told me that she decided that she wanted to become a mother through a sperm donor.

‘I hope I didn’t bother you.’ She said and smiled.

‘Actually it’s illegal, I mean you can’t meet me.’ I said.

‘I know but there were very basic details in the form and secondly, I want to see you.’ She said.

‘she wants to see me or my face?’ I asked myself.

‘Don’t get me wrong.’ She said.

‘That’s perfectly fine.’ I lied.

‘However, it’s not easy for me.’ She said.

I saw her wet eyes. She ran her fingers to wipe her tears.

‘You, okay?’ I said, passing her a tissue paper.

‘Yeah, sorry.’ She said, rubbing tissue paper below her eyes gently. She lifted a glass of water and emptied it in one go. She took a deep breath.

‘Everything will be fine.’ I said, after a few minutes.

‘Yeah, I know Dr.mehta told me you have good sperm count.’ She said.

And we laughed together.

‘Ok, tell me, how much do I compensate to you?’

‘Dr. Mehta paid me for the donation so you don’t have to pay me anything.’

‘but—‘ she began.

‘Please,’ I said.

‘Thank you for the coffee.’ I extended my hand. We shook hands. I turned to leave.

‘Excuse me,’ she said.

‘Yes ?’ I turned back.

‘Can I get your contact number? If you don’t mind ?’

‘Yeah, sure,’ I said. She wrote down my number.

I stopped at the door. I turned my head and said, ‘All the best.’

‘Thank you.’ She said and smiled.

I left with a smile.