Who Is A Virgin?
Who Is A Virgin?
The whole city was under my feet. I was one step away from burning the book called life where all the pages were filled with pain. My mind said, "Let this be the last page". But my legs didn't cooperate. They were shivering.
The sun had just begun to hide beneath the mountains. The rays were trying to escape through the clouds just like the tears that were trying to escape from my eyes. The shadows were getting longer and longer just like the miseries of my life. The birds had started to head back to their homes with their families. I neither had a home nor a family. The evening breeze had started to get quite heavy, but my heart was even heavier. The darkness of the night had slowly started to set in. This darkness will eventually fade away. But what about the darkness of my life?
It was in the same darkness where four human animals pounced on me. It was in the same darkness where I was robbed of something which no girl should lose. It was in the same darkness where I cried, pleaded and even begged for help. It was in the same darkness where I was left shivering the whole night. Finally, here I stand, in the same darkness, one step away from putting a full stop to the long passage of miseries. I had debated this decision so many times in my mind, but I couldn't find even a single reason to live.
I finally decided to make the next move. I tried hard to move my legs. As I was about to take the next step, a hand grabbed me from behind and pulled me away from the edge of the cliff. I lost my balance a little. The last thing I wanted was someone spotting me in that deserted place and saving me. But this was not surprising as I never get what I desire in life, even death.
"What are you trying to do idiot?", shouted a male voice. The voice looked unfamiliar. I gathered myself and turned back to find a tall guy who was now holding my shoulder. I couldn't recognize him in the darkness.
"Who the hell are you? Won't you guys even allow me to die peacefully?", I wanted to ask him. But I only managed to tell the words "Who are you?", in a very tired and a low tone. Crying for the past 2 days had taken its toll on me. I was hardly able to speak.
"You know me", he said still holding me tight.
I was not in a state of mind to think of anything. I tried hard. I was shocked when I realized that he was the guy who kept following me for over a year. He was the guy whose proposal I had ignored just because he was dark. I didn't know what to say. I just told him in a shivering tone, "Please let me go. I don't want to li..". He interrupted me in the middle and asked, "why?...what's wrong with you?".
I didn't know what to say. What do I even tell him? Tears started to well up in my eyes. I remained silent. He didn't utter a word. I was looking down. My eyes didn't have the courage to face him. After a while, I broke the silence and said
"I'm not a v..vv..virgin anymore. I'm not clean. I don't want to l..ll..livve",I stammered. I was about to break down.
I didn't know how he reacted to this. I was still looking down. He remained silent for a while and then replied in a louder tone,
"So what? You are still a virgin. Virginity is not in the body, it’s in the heart. They can steal your body, but not your heart. Your heart is still clean. You are still a virgin by heart".
His words struck me in the heart. It was as if my ears had received it and sent it directly to the heart instead of the brain. It made me feel better. His words made me run out of words.
I finally said "But......", still looking down. He uplifted my chin and looked me in the eye and asked, "Will you marry me?"
The floodgates were finally open. The tears which had welled up in my eyes had started to flow. But these were the tears of joy. My happiness knew no bounds. My legs were so tired that they couldn't even move but I was jumping inside. My mouth failed to speak. My jaws failed to move. But my hands did the talking. I hugged him tightly. I had never seen my mom or dad, but I saw them both in him.
I had ignored him just because he was dark, but it was the same dark guy who lit up my life. "External beauty fades away. Internal beauty remains forever".