Unfortunate and Unwanted

‘Why did you kill me dad?’-I wanted to ask this to him. I could not however. You see, I am the ghost of this lifeless corpse, which was born today and died the same day. My mom tried to stop him from killing me. He, along with some other men killed me, they suffocated me. Yes, my dad killed me with his own hands and grinned brightly once he did so. They all ignored my cries. I remember, when I was in my mother’s womb, she would often speak to me about dad, my elder brother Bittoo. I had been so excited to meet them. However, I remember, she often used to tell me-‘you better be a boy’.

Sometimes, I would get frightened listening to dad shouting at mom, wanting a waaris. I did not understand much then. But, now after my death, I understood that he killed me because I am not a waaris. Then, is Bittoo a waaris? Might be. I wanted to live with them. My mother, I miss her sweet voice. She used to sing for me when I was in her womb. She used to narrate lots of stories. He snatched me away from her. My delicate, new born body winced with pain. Why was he not happy with me? Did I do any mistake? But, how could I commit any mistake? I just used to silently swim in my mother’s womb.

Ahh now, I have a lot of time to think about this. I just see them burying me into a small pit. My body is so cold, my face so calm. I will stay buried there forever now. This is my story, the unfortunate, unwanted girl who could not even live for a day.