True Love

I read many romantic novels in my youth. Rebecca had a great influence on me. The few movies which I saw having soft romance as the theme really touched my heart. I imagined that life with a partner of my choice would be a romantic journey.  

Unfortunately, I could not succeed in that dream and married a person chosen by my parents and approved by me. After I got engaged, I thought I could enjoy a period of romance until my marriage which was six months away! To my dismay, my fiance maintained total silence and distance during that period, unlike many men of his age who were engaged to my colleagues. I would look at my friends who happily went out with their fiances, with envy. I wondered what was wrong with this guy. But my parents were very happy with my fiance as he met their expectations. They never approved of girls going out with their fiances before marriage! I could not even openly express my disappointment and sorrow.

After the marriage, my first shock was my young husband’s stand on pre-marriage courting, honeymoon and anything romantic. He felt after all we had a whole life together and what was the need to court before marriage, when there was a risk of the marriage even being cancelled for hundreds of reasons! Thus, just after going to Mantralaya and visiting my uncle’s family, I had to get back to work. I literally cried when all my colleagues were shocked that I got back to work so soon, without going on a honeymoon and expressed their feelings.  

My husband is a very practical person and does not believe in celebrating birthdays, anniversaries or any such days. I was really disappointed and we had many a fight over his strong principles, which he never broke to this day! However, gradually I realised many positive aspects of his nature and understood his justification of his principles. Yet, I always envied and still envy husbands and wives who enjoy romantic moments.

During one of our trips to New York, I had a chance to understand what true love is. My husband and I were supposed to travel by a metro train and I got into the train that was waiting but before my husband could get it in, the doors closed and we were separated. Both of us went through very tense moments for a couple of hours and kept trying to reach out to the other and also my sister who was to meet us. Finally, after a lot of circus, when my husband stepped out of a train and spotted me on the platform, he had tears in his eyes and came and gently hugged me. He said, “Thank God, I found you. I was really worried.” Never had he hugged me in public and never had he ever expressed his love openly in all those 20+ years until that day. I was touched.

In December, 2014 I had a freak accident and injured my right hand. My major brachial artery was ruptured and hence I had the risk of losing my life or my hand. I can never forget the stress that my husband went through on that day. He was very concerned but had to hide his concern and put up a brave front. He and my close friend stood all night in the cold weather, outside the ICU, having no clue of what was going on inside. Next day I underwent a major vascular surgery. Life after the surgery was hell for nearly 8 months because there were many tense moments in the hospital due to doctors’ negligence and three more minor surgeries before and after the major surgery and recovery was very slow.

Then the recovery process was long drawn and painful. The physio-therapy sessions were like torture sessions and I would scream. My husband silently went about his duties - attending to me all the 24 hours, showing no emotions. He had to attend to so many household chores, though many good souls came to my help. He had to repeat the physio exercises at home and put up with all my screams with a stone heart. He had to take me to the hospital for dressing every other day and later for the physio sessions every day. He had to help me brush, bathe and even to answer nature’s calls. He would have a very busy day, especially after my daughter too delivered a child at that time. But I could not sleep through the nights due to severe pain and I would wake him up very often. Not once did he express displeasure or irritation. He nursed me whole-heartedly without being fed up.

Now, after all this, he is really concerned about me, especially when I go out alone. Even when we go together, he ensures that I walk carefully, as I have a tendency of falling. All this he does mechanically.

Now, isn’t this true love? Should someone kneel down, hold a rose or gift a card and sing a song to show his love?  

I love my husband a lot and can never imagine a life without him. He has his own idiosyncrasies which do irritate me but I too am not perfect and have many weaknesses which irritate him. We have a lot of arguments but finally we have arrived at a balance and we know the limits. He has been a very loyal son, a good husband, a good father and a good, simple and humble human being. He has been a great support for all my activities, ferrying me wherever I want to go, jotting down important details and assisting me in editing. He has no needs and has set such a good example to our children as far as certain basic values are concerned. Thus, my children too have understood the importance of certain values like love for animals, love for nature, not wasting anything-be it food, energy or other resources, respect for elders and all human beings alike and so many other values.  

Thus, I am thankful to God for giving me such a lovely husband, though I do miss the so-called romance that I dreamt of!