The Younger Self

Time and Tide waits for none. This proverb is into practical application far more than its words count. The moment which passes never comes back. Your age increases each single day and you lose yourself every day to get a “new you” which may be better or worse than the “older you” which lived the previous day.

But science alters it all. Remember, the time machine of Doraemon (cartoon character)! Probably it was the childhood dream of every kid to enter into the desk drawer of Nobita fitted with time machine to reach past and future almost instantly.

You won’t believe me but my friend Sovansh is my Doraemon. He has an uncanny interest of inventing and making new scientific gadgets using broken and spare parts of old electrical appliances. Last time he made something out of his damaged heater which he claimed could act as an artificial small-scale Sun. Unfortunately, the device burnt itself as instantly as it was switched on. Funny, right? Though most of his devices turn out to be disasters but some become a hit idea.

Today, he has called me to see some device which he was sure would make me flabbergasted. He told me on call “Hello Anshuman, quickly rush to my house to see the most graceful creation I have ever made. You would just stand amazed seeing it.” Telling this he cut the phone. He sounded highly excited.

His words raised my exhilaration. My mind was engaged in guessing what could have he made, as I walked towards his home. I reached his house in nearly 10 minutes. As soon as I ringed the doorbell, he rushed to open the door which could be heard by his loud and fast footsteps. He pulled me and carried me by holding my hands in the fastest pace as he headed towards his room. We saw Aunt in the way and Sovansh gave a halt to his actions for a moment. I took my hands to greet her. As she was about to start her questions of my wellbeing, Sovansh stopped her and hastily dragged me again towards his room. Till I reached his room, I was already gasping. I told him, ‘You just increased my heart rate to 200bpm by making me run throughout the way. Now show me the most graceful thing. I am also eager to see that.’ 

He pointed his index finger of right hand towards a large wooden irregular box which had bundles of wires hanged from it. I laughed seeing it and told, ‘You called me to watch this box and I thought something would be special.’ He crunched his face and told, ‘You think this is an ordinary box, Fool. It is a time machine which I have made. You can go to past and future with help of this.’ I made a sly face and answered, ‘Look at my face and tell me, do you think me to be mad? I know, nothing like time machine ever exists. I am no more wasting my time in looking at this box. I am just going back to my home.’

As I turned back to head towards the room’s main door, Sovansh stood across the door. He told, ‘You don’t believe me, then let me show you a demo. Come with me.’ As he said so, he dragged me inside the box and then pressed a key. As soon as he did that, we went to the time, when he had pulled me into his room and I was gasping. I was really amazed to see the past instance coming live. Now, I believed on greatness of this invention and told, ‘Sovansh, this is unbelievable. You are really genius.’ Just then he pressed another key and we returned to the present.

Sovansh pulled his collar up with pride as he expressed, ‘Now you must believe that I am a prodigy. This is something no one can ever make. Now tell me, do you want to see your future?’ I exclaimed, ‘Yes, yes, I am eager to see my future and also, I would love to meet my favourites of the past, like Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam, Gandhiji, Subash Chandra Bose, Einstein, Galileo, Lord Buddha etc. I would also love to see the whole freedom struggle of India in past. My list is unending.’ Sovansh told, ‘I knew it, that you would be thrilled seeing this. Now let us fulfil all our wishes by this time machine.’

We both entered into that box. He told, ‘Let us see our future.’ I nodded in denial and said, ‘No, let us go to meet our past heroes, first.’ Soon the conflict of our thoughts changed into a dispute as we quarreled severely. He told, ‘I made the machine so my wish will be fulfilled first.’ I irritably said, ‘Then why did you call me? You are very quarrelsome. Be happy with your flop machine. Like every time, this time also your machine will flop. I am just going. Don’t talk to me again.’ He held my hands furiously and alleged, ‘You called my machine a flop. You donkey. You can’t make any new thing but just tease my machine.’ The scuffle grew bitter. As our fight continued, I saw a spark in the switch panel infront of me. I told Sovansh, ‘Hey watch out. I saw a spark in the switch panel.’ When he started turning his head, the spark turned larger and the machine started automatically. It made large sounds. We both tried opening the gate of the box but it was locked automatically as the machine started. We shouted by holding each other’s’ hand tightly but our sound didn’t penetrate out through the wooden box. We both lost all the hope and closed our eyes in fear.

In no time we reached an unknown place. As we opened our eyes, we found ourselves behind a construction site. He told, ‘It is all due to you that we have come to this unknown place.’ I exclaimed, ‘Oh! Now you will put all your fault on me. You made a defective machine, so we are here in this unknown place.’ Sovansh bowed down his head in grief. He told in a low tone, ‘I am sorry. I never make any proper device. I even put you in trouble.’ Seeing him upset, I consoled him by saying, ‘No, no, now don’t tell that. I really believe that you are a genius. Don’t get distressed.’ As I told him so, my eyes went to the time machine. I expressed, ‘Listen Sovansh, you made the Machine so you would easily know all its connections. So, if you try you can also repair it so that we can return back home.’ ‘Do you think it is that easy?’, exclaimed Sovansh. ‘Don’t lose hope, I believe that you can do it.’, telling this I put my hands on his shoulder. He looked at me once and went near the machine. I encouraged him.

I rotated my head and saw many bungalows and a large mall. The bungalows seemed to be familiar. I made the horses of my mind to run and at an instance could realize that the place was same as from where it all started i.e., Sovansh’s house. The locality was same but probably Sovansh’s house was under construction at the time which we have come to.

 Sovansh tried to show me the connections of the machine but I was least interested. I looked at it forcefully and tried to put up such an expression on face so that it looked that I was eager to learn about the machine but the truth was only known to me. I was interested to know about the time to which we have reached.

Getting bored for nearly 15 minutes, I saw Sovansh had become so busy in machine works that he had forgotten to explain me the equipment. I heaved a sigh of relief and surreptitiously escaped the place. As I went on to the main road, I saw vehicles but surely it was less than that of the present times. I saw a small tiffin stall infront of me. I crossed the road and went to the stall to have my breakfast which I couldn’t have due to the haste which Sovansh made in the morning to see his machine. I saw that a fat person was sitting on the bench infront of the stall reading newspaper. I sat on the bench as tried seeing the date and day on top of it. I saw it was written 25 November 2011. I realized that I had come nearly 10 years back.

I was getting bored waiting for the food to be prepared in the stall. I asked for the newspaper to the person sitting beside me in a polite tone. He didn’t respond. I asked several times but each time I got no response. It angered me and I tried softly dragging the newspaper towards me. After this I saw something that was beyond my imagination. The man’s face had turned pale out of fright and he threw the newspaper on the table shouting, ‘Someone is trying to move the newspaper.’ The stall owner said, ‘What rubbish. There is no one sitting beside you then How can it happen?’ The man gasped and ran from the place shouting, ‘This place has a ghost. This place has a ghost.’ The shopkeeper told, ‘What a foolish man. Ghost, Ha, I don’t believe on them.’

Listening to these discussions I realized that no one was able to see me except Sovansh in this past world. I laughed hard remembering the facial expression of the man who ran away thinking of Ghost. But at the same time, I was concerned to not create any further havoc for the other people. So, I sneakily took a few food items kept in a basket in the stall, while the stall owner was still busy in making other food items. I left the place by putting the food items in my hand, all at once in my mouth so that none think that the food was dancing in the air on own due to any Ghost. I saw the timing in a nearby shop to be 8:00 am.

Many vehicles passed infront of me. I sat on the top of an autorickshaw which was already full with passengers. I travelled along with it, sighting the vehicles, houses, trees, shops all around in the city, which was cleaner, greener and less polluted at that time than it is now. As I passed through the roads, at an instant I saw a small boy standing infront of the gate of a large house. He seemed familiar. I jumped from the rickshaw and reached near him. He was continuously talking to himself standing all alone in school uniform. Probably he was waiting for a vehicle at the stoppage to go to school.

As I saw his cute and innocent face, I could instantly recognize him. He was the younger me in probably class 3, in the old school uniform waiting for the school bus to come. I remember when I was in class 3, I used to arrive very early at the bus stop in fear of missing it. The faint memories started surfacing in my mind. I went near the boy to look at him closely. As I stood near him, I said hello, but instantly recollected that no one of past could see me. But to my amazement, the boy reciprocated my hello looking at me. He asked, ‘Bhai, do you know me?’ I came out of my startlement and answered, ‘You can see and talk to me?’ ‘Yes’, he replied. I was overjoyed and replied, ‘Then probably I may know you.’ He seemed to be very shy and didn’t talk much to me. I asked, ‘Hey, why were you talking to yourself in this stand?’ He responded, ‘I don’t have much friends so I keep talking to myself.’ I recalled that at that time I had a very few friends so I often chatted with myself to share my thoughts. I stood beside him and felt as if he felt uncomfortable by my presence. I told him, ‘Don’t get afraid of me. I can become your friend. You can share your feelings with me.’ He told, ‘Why will you become my friend? You are a stranger. My mother told me to not talk to strangers.’ I felt uneasy on being called a stranger. I told him, ‘Ok then, you don’t need friends then I may leave.’ He stopped me from behind as I was starting to leave. He told, ‘No, No I didn’t mean to hurt you. You can become my friend.’ As soon as he ended his conversation, loud honk of the school bus was heard. He saw the bus and waved his hand to say goodbye to me.

As the bus arrived, he boarded it but was amazed to see me coming up the bus. He told me, ‘You are not in school uniform, why are you boarding the bus?’ As he started talking to me inside the bus, everyone looked at him with large eyes. I knew the reason. It was because all the other students thought younger Anshuman was talking in air as I was not visible to them. Everyone laughed at him but he tried hard explaining everyone to ask me to get down the bus. No one believed him and started calling him mad. After much of my explaining, he understood that I was visible only to him. Upon realizing this he was horrified and was about to shout but I stopped him and said, ‘Believe me, I am not ghost. I have come to help you. You have watched Cinderella no; you can think me as your Fairy God Brother just like Cinderella had Fairy God mother.’ I remember I was a great fan of Disney animated movies at that time which still I am . Though it was bit hard to make him understand but due to his gullible nature he believed me and didn’t shout.

I saw he was sitting on the bus engine and remembered that at that time I was bullied severely by my bus mates. Those people didn’t let me sit on a seat rather made me sit on the engine. I got so angry that I wanted to slap them but I controlled myself so that I don’t fright the kids who were all younger to me. I told to younger me, ‘Anshuman, why don’t you ask them (pointing to other students in bus) to allow you sitting on the bus?’ He talked to me in sign language so that no one could see him talking. I was happy that he used his mind to avoid everyone calling him mad. He told, ‘They won’t let me sit and will scold me if I ask.’ I asked him to not get frightened and

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show courage by asking them for a seat. He said that he would adjust but on my insisting him several time, he went to ask for a seat. As soon as he asked, one boy replied, ‘See who is asking for seat. Bhondu (Hindi word for Duffer), you would sit on the seat. You deserve that engine only. Now go and sit there (pointing to engine). If you come again, you would get nice thrashing from all of us.’ Young Anshuman was coming back dejectedly after being behaved badly but I stopped him. I said, ‘You like them calling you Bhondu? Why can’t you ever speak for yourself but just get intimidated? Just go and tell them with all confidence that you need a seat or else you would complain to the bus incharge.’ He was initially reluctant but gained courage and went to those students and told them whatever I asked him to. I was continuously asking him to be confident. He placed his words to them but politely. I was astounded to see him managing the thing without being rude. After he completed, the faces of those students were a good scene to see. They were stunned seeing such confidence in the boy whom they thought would always remain silent. Although they bragged that they don’t fear the incharge but they allowed Anshuman to sit on a seat which they had purposefully acquired. He was very happy and I was happy seeing him.

Throughout the journey, the other boys teased Younger Anshuman by calling him different names and talking about his things. They told, his things such as bag and watch to be duplicate and made fun of him. I told him, ‘Tell them that if your duplicate thing worked better than their original ones then you are happy with it.’ He said to me, ‘I am happy with my belongings and I don’t need to explain that to them. If I become rude then I would become similar to them and cannot be better than them. So, I prefer remaining silent and just ignoring their words.’ I was happy seeing the inherent goodness and innocence that he possessed. I tried to learn his ways of dealing with situations without losing calm and ethics, which I reminisced were once my ways itself.

We both talked to each other and he ignored the other students and their taunts all the way till the bus came to a halt and we reached the Big Red Building which was surely my school. All of them got down the bus and went towards the school in groups with their friends. Young Anshuman walked all alone as he had no friend to accompany him to the class. But that day I was there to give him a company. We reached the small classroom in the ground floor which was decorated by several chart papers having various drawings pasted on the wall of the classroom. I felt nostalgic seeing the classroom.

As he entered the classroom, he went to the 3rd last bench to be seated. I asked him to be seated on the 1st bench but he told that, ‘Our class teacher has made the seating arrangement in rotation. Each day we go one bench back and once we reach the last bench, the next day we come to the 1st one. Today my turn is to seat on this bench. (Pointing his finger to the 3rd last bench)’ I could remember the system at once as he explained me. This is the seating arrangement we followed when we were younger but once we reached higher classes, we could choose any bench we liked to. Soon his friend with whom he shared his bench arrived. They were very good friends. I found and sat on the last bench which was empty that day.

I observed the younger me, the whole day and saw that he was very attentive during the classes. Though he was not very brilliant but was very obedient. He keenly did all his work and listened to the teacher with full concentration. In the English class, mam asked him to stand and read the text aloud. When young Anshuman started reading, everyone put fingers on their ears owing to very loud voice of him. The teacher praised him for reading the text loud and clear. I remember in those days I was known to be the loudspeaker of the class owing to my loud voice and praises of teacher due to this attribute made me very joyful.

Young Anshuman came to meet me in the last bench after every class. His close friends couldn’t understand his act of coming to the back seat after every class though no one was sitting there. (I wasn’t visible to them). I told him, ‘You are really genius. You are obedient and very good.’ He replied with a bowed head, ‘No, no, I am not a genius at all. I don’t score good marks. There are many in our class who score very well and are teacher’s favourite.’ I consoled him, ‘You are doing great in the class. Don’t worry, marks don’t decide your intelligence. Don’t get disheartened for the marks. I am sure you would score better marks in your higher classes.’ He thanked me and went back to his seat.

As soon as the bell of recess rang everyone ran happily out of the class or to the benches of their friends. Young Anshuman and his bench mate had only each other as their friends so they didn’t go anywhere apart from washroom to wash their hands. They opened their tiffin. I also went near their bench as I was feeling very hungry. Anshuman had brought Roti and beans fry as his tiffin while the other boy had brought biscuits in the tiffin. When both of them were busy talking with each other, I looked here and there to confirm that no one was looking at that desk and took small pieces of both the tiffin. Younger Anshuman did catch me red handed but he only smiled and didn’t utter anything. I returned back to my last bench. I adored the friendship of my younger with his bench mate but felt sad as I knew that the friendship will not remain this pure in the long run of the school. Both of them talked to each other, helped each other in studies and also took a stand for each other when others tried to bully them. They also did competition of ‘who would solve maths problem faster’ in the mathematics period. I enjoyed their funny banter but observing all this also made me blue at the same time because I desired to live these moments again.

After the recess was EVS (environmental science) period and the teacher was absent. The students of the class were overjoyed knowing about absence of the teacher. The students started talking with each other at the loudest of the voice. Anshuman was chatting with his bench mate but in a low voice. The monitors of the class came to make the class silent. The monitors wrote name of the students who were talking loudly, on the blackboard and asked that particular student to stand as a punishment. The monitors roamed in the classroom to gain control over it.

 After few minutes, I observed young Anshuman standing in his place. I was startled. Anshuman explained the monitors, ‘I wasn’t talking loudly but you wrote my name. You monitors are very biased. You don’t write the name of your friends who are actually screeching in highest of their voice but you wrote my name.’ Soon the quarrel between him and the monitor became severe. Seeing the quarrel, I recalled that, I was always irritated with the monitors of my class in those days as they were always unfair. The teachers made only the brilliant students of the class as the monitors and these students thought themselves to be superior. Their unfair decisions were made binding in the class. But I started laughing when I thought that these small punishments of the monitors would no longer matter to anyone in the higher classes. I came and asked young Anshuman to stay calm and not lose his tranquil by unnecessarily arguing with these monitors. He obeyed me and accepted his punishment. He was made to sit in a short duration owing to the discipline which he maintained while standing.

The last period was the games period. Everyone happily rushed to the playground. It was the favourite period of almost all kids except few, one out of which was Anshuman. While all other kids played cricket, football and many other games, Anshuman just roamed here and there looking at the sky in the playground. I went to him and asked, ‘Why don’t you play with other kids?’ He answered, ‘I can’t play outdoor games and no one agreed to play indoor games with me. So, I am roaming looking at the beautiful trees, sky to pass my time.’ I very well knew his predicament because I also don’t know playing outdoor games like cricket, football properly, even now. His bench-mate called him to play with him but he denied. He was very lonely. In that period, we both talked about various things like studies, family, friends, food etc. It was delightful conversing with him and I got nostalgic listening to these talks. As soon as the bell rang, the students sang the national anthem on given command by the school cabinet members. During national anthem everyone stood still but smiled sneakily looking at each other’s serious faces. After it ended, the students started moving towards their home from the playground itself holding their bags. I also came out of the school with Young Anshuman.

In these all events, I had completely forgot about the time. I looked at the watch and it was 4:00pm. I instantly remembered about Sovansh repairing the time machine. I rushed to find a vehicle so that I can return back to the place our time machine was present. Young Anshuman stopped me. He said, ‘Hey wait, where are you going Bhai?’ I replied, ‘I have to leave. I am already late. You also leave or else your bus would leave without taking you. And remember don’t sleep in the bus or else you would miss your stoppage.’ He was amazed as he heard me saying about those actions of him, which he didn’t tell me about. He told, ‘I don’t have many friends but I got you to share all my thoughts and feelings. I feel as if I have a connection with you. Please don’t go. I will be lonely again if you go from here.’ Saying this he held my hands firmly. I pulled my hands to back and assured him, ‘Don’t worry, you would very soon get many good friends who would stand by you, thick and thin, always. Let me go please because I am in a hurry. I will return to you again in future whenever I get a chance.’ He said, ‘Promise me that you would return to me in the future.’ I stared him for some time and finally on his pestering me, I said, ‘Ok then I Promise you.’

After I promised, he reluctantly agreed to let me leave. I told, ‘I wish you all the best for your future life. Always be the same innocent and good Anshuman like you are now.’ He nodded. Telling this I started rushing and at some distance I again found an autorickshaw. As I was leaving, Young Anshuman asked, ‘Bhai, I forgot to ask but tell me your name at least.’ I replied while climbing the autorickshaw top, ‘ANSHUMAN is my name.’ Telling this I waved my hand telling goodbye. He was surprised listening to my name and kept staring at me for some time. I signaled him towards his school bus which was about to leave.

As I left the place, I was on the way to reach the same construction site from which I started in the morning. In the mid-way I saw Sovansh who had also come searching for me. I waved my hand and got off the autorickshaw. He asked me, ‘Where were you till now? I searched for you in the whole city.’ I told, ‘Leave all that. You first tell me if you repaired the time machine?’ He jumped and nodded in affirmation. I was very happy and jumped in joy. We both went back to the time machine. We entered inside the box. Sovansh pressed some switch and the machine started yet again. In no time we reached back to the present time in Sovansh’s room.

We both were glad returning back to our own time. I narrated my whole journey of the day to Sovansh. He was amazed and said, ‘you enjoyed and I was only repairing the machine the whole day.’ I laughed and said, ‘Don’t worry, you have the time machine so you can go back anytime and enjoy your day.’ As I completed my talk the time machine sparked again and this time with a loud sound, it caught fire. Aunt rushed to Sovansh’s room listening to the sound and we all three put off the fire by putting a large blanket and sodium bicarbonate over it as the fire was caused due to electricity.

As the fire was put off, we saw the Time machine was completely destroyed. Aunt scolded Sovansh and went back to her room. We both laughed out as I told him, ‘Sorry Sovansh, now you won’t be able to enjoy at day with your younger self until you make a new time machine.’ After sometimes of chitchat, I thanked Sovansh of giving me a chance to meet my younger self due to his machine.

After that I bade him goodbye and started back towards my home. In the way I reminisced the moments which I enjoyed that day and felt nostalgic remembering the Young Anshuman. It was an unforgettable day of my life in true sense. Suddenly I remembered the promise which I made to my younger self, which I doubt will ever get fulfilled. But who knows, maybe I get a chance to fulfil my promise some day with the help of the ever-expanding Science. That is why I always say,

Science has the ability to remove “im” from “impossible”.