The Stork and the Woman

Prelude: The story has two women protagonist Neerja and Kamini. They are strangers and yet know so much about each other. I am inviting the readers to enter the world of Neerja and Kamini through their journal....

Neerja

The woman was there again. She was right on her time. 

I inhaled deeply and raised my upper body off the yoga mat in the Cobra pose, the Bhunjangasan.

1, 2, 3.... my eyes were fixed on her while I held the pose. She was watching the birds playing in the lake. Her head bobbed like a paper boat in the water, as if she was nodding to her avian mates. After some time, she turned around and moved towards the bench where a young couple was sitting cozily and watching the sunset. Her hands were clasped around her chest in which she was holding something. A greenish thing. Was that a diary?

Softly I released the pose and rested my head on the mat. When I looked up again, the couple was gone. She was sitting on the bench with a soft smile on her lips. The diary, yes I was right, was in her lap. She was writing down something in that.

Kamini

At the age of Thirty-five, I finally realized, I was not a teenager anymore.

‘What had gotten into you last night? Behaving like a reckless teen?’ He snubs me.

My head is still whirling from the hangover of last night’s spree. But more than a headache the tension is about facing him later. Thus, purposefully I was exhibiting my ‘good-behavior’ like a guilt-stricken child.

Carefully I make the bed, smoothen the wrinkles, a thing which annoys him the most. Then I take an early bath, comb my hair neatly, dress up in freshly ironed clothes and brew two cups of ginger tea.

He is a good man, my husband; patient and ignorant, unlike me. He doesn’t observe every tiniest of details and pretends to ignore things which are immaterial. This is the main reason I am dreading this one-on-one with him. Because a criticism from him is like tasting a sharp tangy pickle, a flavor that is going to sting for long.

He patiently reads the newspaper. The occasional nods signal that things are boiling inside him. But he wouldn’t say a word till the time I don’t give a tiny prick, the drill I have now come to recognize. And I have to do it fast before the pus spreads into the body.

‘So what are your plans for Sunday, dear?’

‘Nothing’

‘Why’, I feign surprise

‘I am still tired from your show last night. What were you thinking? Dancing like an uncontrolled loose woman on bar table’

The prick has punctured the wound.

Neerja

Recently, we have moved to this gnawing city. I am not a big city fan. Oh, so much I detest this life of concrete clusters and endless honking. I don’t have any friends here and I hate to make friends. I am not rude or self-obsessed. I just feel nervous trying to open up to strangers and let them judge me. What if they don’t return my smile, or they ask me to go shopping with them, or they self-invited themselves to my home. Maybe at that time, I am taking a nap or my face is coated in a clay-mask. No, no...I hate making friends, as simple as that. What I love instead are the long walks. Every evening I come for walks to this beautiful lake. There is a lovely trail around it, with nicely located sunset points. The lake is very popular with nature lovers and fitness freaks. There is one more thing that I like. I love watching people. I am so cunningly smart in this particular hobby that they never once realize that they are somebody’s radar. I can perfectly list out their hobbies, nervous ticks, and health issues on the bases of my observations. Normally, I treat my subjects with emotional aloofness. I don’t want to get involved in those silly pleasantries, thus prefer to keep a poker face.

My latest subject is this woman. She has large wonderous eyes, which makes her oval face look more dramatic. Her body gives a hint of an athletic past but there is a hint of the beginning of double chin, which she so carefully tries to hide. She must not be more than thirty-five, or forty max. I have been noticing her from past ten days. I know very well that at this very point she will be watching the sinking sun with her big moon eyes. I am done with the Asanas but still linger on. She is looking at a lonely bird perched on a dried stump of a tree. It looks like a stork. From this distance, I cannot make out the emotions on her face, but I feel a strange stirring in my heart. There is a feeling of despair somewhere deep within.

Kamini

We had met through a dating site. His profile read I am looking for a girl who will add spice to my life – the words which actually proved their worth in these fifteen years of marriage. Whoo! And what a journey it was – Fearless. Daring. A rollercoaster ride.

On our first valentines, he was away for the commando training. To surprise him, I arrived at his barracks after eighteen hours of travel, a journey in train after bribing the ticket collector and then hitchhiking a ride in a tempo.

‘You are one crazy girl,’ he had laughed before he hugged me tightly.

We were in the Maldives on our fourth anniversary. Ricky Martin’s Shake your Bon Bon and unlimited rounds of Fosters was proving a deadly cocktail. By the third song, I was up on the table, dancing completely carefree, while he was cheering from the crowd. Later we made love on the beach.

His fortieth birthday we celebrated with a trek to the Valley of flowers. And out there camping at the altitude of over ten thousand feet under the sheet of sparkling stars, he held my face in his hands with the excitement like that of our first date and sang John Denver’s You fill up my senses.

Neerja

She hasn’t come for two days. That’s so uncharacteristic of her. Is she all right, I wonder. Maybe I should try to find out about her. What if she is in some kind of trouble? I ponder on this duel in my head. The yoga mat lies unused at the foot of the bench. No...no...I must calm down. I run my sweaty palms through the messy hair.

 I must not look like a sentimental fool to Rajesh. I know he hasn’t said anything, but he is a little annoyed by my evening walks. Especially, when today told him that I cannot miss my routine for his office party.

‘Hmm...,’ he had nodded quietly. And seeing the crease forming on his forehead I had added hurriedly, ‘Doctor has strictly advised following the routine for a higher rate of success.’

IVF

After two unsuccessful attempts, we had decided to take a final risk on the advice of a happy client of a famous fertility clinic over here. This was the main reason behind our sudden move to this city. But for me, it was an escape from the prying eyes. 

Somedays I feel as if we are two volcanoes, on the verge of eruption. Perhaps that was the reason we avoided each other these days so skillfully. We smile, hold hands and share our daily details. We behave like two mature individuals respecting each other’s boundaries. But the technicality of this process has turned our intimacy into robotic performance. Each day I feel like a laboratory rat, at the mercy of someone else’s will.

Kamini

Has it ever happened to you that you are watching a sweet dream, in which there is happiness everywhere? And then one day you wake up suddenly, rubbing your eyes with your wrinkled fingers and realize it was just a dream….a shallow dream.

In the evenings, I like coming to this lake behind our campus in Pune. I crave for this solitude when I can be the real me. The place is full of people engrossed in their fitness routine. There are cheerful hellos, unending chatters, the sound of laughter. Sometimes a group of mothers brings their toddlers for a stroll in the pram, and they discuss the tips while they circle the lake. There are also young and shy couples, who normally time their visit when rush has thinned. They linger even after the sun-down. There are some loners also. They don’t engage in any chitchats but do their workouts with full dedication. Like that woman with frizzy and unkempt sort of hairdo. It makes her look ‘I don’t care what you think’ type of. She is not one of those with cheerful hellos and waves while walking. Instead, she ignores everyone deliberately, as if she is here not for leisure but on some business. But, yesterday I saw a flicker of a smile on her face when we crossed each other. I think I heard her say something, but it must be my imagination. I imagine a lot of things these days.

There is a bench at the farthest corner, almost hidden under the foliage. I like to go and sit on that bench. Sometimes I have to wait for it shamelessly. Like yesterday when a young couple was sitting there cozily, trying to do some tricky business away from prying eyes. But I kept hounding them with my stubborn presence. At last, the couple left in disgust. I triumphantly reclaimed my spot and watched the sinking Sun doing wonders to the surface of the water.

 To the world, I look so colorful, pretty like this lake but beneath the trick of sunlight, I am so colorless, cold and lifeless. For the world and for him I wear an artificial skin, tuck in my tummy and sit in the positions where the double chin is camouflaged but I can see his eyes which are no longer staring at me.

Neerja

She is back.

Why am I elated seeing her? I almost wave at her with a smile when we cross each other. Thank God that she didn’t notice. Her eyes are wooly with her thoughts.

Should I ask her whether everything is fine? No. That will look prying and so desperate of me. I spread the mat on the grassy patch and watch the sky. The blue is filled with strokes of orange and pink shades. Yes, I will have the nursery of the baby painted in these colors. I smile at these fantasies and feel a lightness filling my heart. We had an appointment with the doctor earlier this week and he sounded so positive after seeing my progress. Rajesh also complimented me for the hard work. Nowadays more than me, he is insistent that I shouldn’t miss the evening walks. I notice a woman pushing the baby stroller closeby. The little thing is watching the birds gleefully. Perhaps very soon I will also be one of them. A smile lits my face as I roll into plausible fantasies.

I notice her standing near the lake. She is watching the storks. Her head is bobbing softly.

I wanted to watch her some more but today I am in a hurry. He has told me to be ready, we are going out for a dinner to celebrate the news.

Kamini

When was it exactly when we stopped sleeping cuddled into each other’s arms? Your hair stink of the hair dye, he made a face when I tried to rest my head on his chest. In all these years I have learned to notice things and not react. Like an extra beaming smile when he is complimenting a colleague’s eager wife. ‘Oh I say things to cheer up these young things,’ he ridicules my novice envy. ‘I know you are a mature woman and I don’t need to be cheesy with you after all these years,’ he pats my head with a masterly affection. It acts like a magic on me and I too join him in these ‘evaluations.’

I lie down on the bed wearing the new lacy thing I had ordered online. The flimsy material has a pushup bra to lift my sagging breasts. I watch his face lit up in an eerie way by the neon glow of his smartphone. For some uncountable moments, I wait. I even increase the running duration to tone my body. And cook a delicious and healthy dinner for him. But he keeps lying in one corner of the bed, hypnotized by his phone. And I watch with an unusual patience, the blue chasm swallowing me day by day. Often I wonder, what is the use of this life? We are just living for the sake of living, there is no life in this.

Neerja

One whole week I have missed the routine. Even today also I had to almost drag myself from the bed. I feel so weak and brittle. Don’t feel like combing my hair or doing up the eyes. Rajesh has gone on a tour and I have not even bothered to change my house tee.

 It’s already sunset when I reached my spot.

Today I plan to just sit and meditate, no exercise.

Is she also running behind her schedule? By this time normally she is preparing to leave. But today she is quietly standing near the water and watching the birds. The lake is placid, just like her. I follow her gaze. A stork is standing on one leg on a dried stump of a tree. Her immobile form has camouflaged so neatly with the calm waters. Then she picks up a pebble and throws it at the long-beaked bird. The creature flies away.

I watch the bird who is annoyingly fearless. Instead of leaving the water, it comes back and settles down on the same spot. It is watching her from the corner of its eyes. Are they playing games?

Splash!!!

*

Neerja

I wait outside in the lobby. Doctors are attending to her.

The scene is replaying in my head again and again like a movie scene. Her body spiraling like a dried autumn leaf into the lake. At first, I had thought that the sound was of a big stone hurled into the lake. 

I had never run that fast in my life. She should thank her lucky stars that I was there to raise an alarm and get someone to help her.

What if I was not there or not behind the schedule? It all fits so perfectly, like a bigger destiny. Whether she lost the balance or the fall was intentional?

I have the diary in my lap. It was the second thing I have rescued this evening. I feel a guilty nervousness. The green binding is staring at me mischievously. I caress its soft binding. Oh damn! Let’s get over with it. I flicked through the pages and read the entries hurriedly.

After three odd pages, I hear the nurse. She is conscious now.

‘Hello again. How are you.’

I shake my usual aloofness and reach out to her like a fast friend. I stroke her hair gently. There is a feeling of unexplained solidarity. I sense a connection.

Her sleepy eyes are locked on the journal in my other hand.

‘Here, I found this on the bench, when you fell. Next time you better risk your life for a better thing than a Stork,’ I turn towards the Nurse to include her in the conversation and she too nervously joins the laughter.

After the nurse leaves us two alone, she takes the diary from my hand. Her eyes look at me searchingly.

I know that she knows and she knows that I know.

‘Hi, I am Kamini

‘And I am Neerja’

We introduce each other.

There is an uncomfortable pause. We look at each other and then at the walls.

‘Do you know Storks use their nesting sites for many years,’ she adds suddenly.

‘Oh is it?’

‘Yes, and because of that they stay faithful to their mates,’ she laughed.

‘Wow, it sounds logical’

‘But at times, when they migrate, they change partner’

We both sit in silence, imagining the Stork and their habitat. And then she smiles and looks at me.

‘Neerja, thanks for being there. And keeping safe my things,’ she takes my hand into hers. There is a gentle warmth in her hands.

 ‘How about we meet up this Saturday for a walk by the lake?’ She adds.

‘Yes, sure, at least this way I will be there to make sure you don’t slip again’.

Like, two silly teenagers, we break into squealing laughter.

***