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Kakoli Mandal

Drama Tragedy Action


4.0  

Kakoli Mandal

Drama Tragedy Action


The help at hand, yet the life refuses to buck up pace!!!!

The help at hand, yet the life refuses to buck up pace!!!!

2 mins 157 2 mins 157


Hi My well-wisher, Though I am happy to interact over calls, somehow I feel quite nervous to express myself. These days just the thought of getting up from bed gives me jitters! It might sound abnormal but this is a fact. Staying back in the bed for hours together absolutely doing nothing gives me a certain kind of feel-good effect, but the moment I think of interacting with people, I rush back to my shell, am I having a phobia to face people? Is this at all normal?


At home, my rapport is not too good with my father, rather, it seems I'm unfit completely in this family. I always wished my father would someday love me, care for me, hug me tightly....but no, it only remains a dream! At the subconscious level, I feel he loathes me for marrying the guy going against my family's wishes. The ill-feeling towards me continues till date. I honestly find no reason to continue with this drudgery called life, I hope I'm garbage, waiting to be dumped into the dustbin at some point. I try a lot to make myself giving me false hopes all is well when it is not! My ex-husband cheated on me and left me eventually, my son's very appearance reminds me of my hubby!!


It's 11 years now, more than a decade!!! The feeling of extreme guilt for marrying the guy against my family's wish is killing me with each passing day, more so, after he proved to be a cheat!! I'm dying inside...every part of me feels so numb...even if I managed to survive today, it's almost like a robot came back to life, sans any kind of emotion. This is not called living, just existing for the sake of existence!!! 



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