Shattered Illusions

I am walking and walking and walking. It gradually changes to running and then jumping away. All my ideas are dead. They are not resting in peace though. They haunt me from time to time, from place to place. I have absolutely nowhere to go, no one to lean on. The truth has hit me. I am alone. I am alone in this world of lies. I am an illusion within an illusion. How can you expect me to be more when you already know the truth?

I led my life well, only by my standards. I did what I was supposed to do- during my time. I allowed myself to get sucked into the void of nothing, and yet felt that I lived with everything. I thought that life had offered me more than I could take, but yet I took it. And now I see light…truth. The truth has been hidden away from me all this time. I see the truth, yet I cannot hold on for too long. I prioritised] the wrong things and now I can’t change it. Not that I want to…Still…I see the light that I want everyone to see. It comes to me in fragments. The mirror has cracked and I am behind it. I see everyone as souls and no skins, and I see myself in that very way too. How am I any different?

All this time I thought that I was unique. All this time I appreciated the pulchritude of this universe. Now, I have stopped. I am tired of this world and what it has to offer. I am tired of how helpless I am- and this makes me cry. I thought I could handle the truth and I sought it. It came to me though, when I was most vulnerable. Karma has this dark way of kicking you exactly when and where you are hurt.

I fell in love, my love died; I danced, my body died; I grew beautiful, my beauty died; I made friends, they left me and part of my soul died; I respected my parents and depended on them, they died; After all this, what should I do? My mind is one illusion and my heart -another. All I can do is follow my soul, but the truth of materialistic things have destroyed me. I don’t know if I can get up again.

I was happy- that was short-lived. I grew sad- I got over that. I grew excited, angry, scared, at the silliest of things. Now I grow up again…in a different way. What do I see? I see the things I loved and enjoyed in their true colours. I see the world as one mess of darkness, and through that- light. I am not ready for this, yet I have to be. The curtain has dropped and I sit in the front seat. Everything is ugly up close!

There is one truth. One thing we should seek. Everything will come to an end at the rate we are going, but it will start again. It is a never ending circle. This is the beginning and this is the end. The introduction and the conclusion. This is the mere truth of it all. The wonderful ideas that I lived for my entire life are pretty much cliché…They have deceived me. You have deceived me. Everyone has. If we are going to die anyway, why do we live? I have got my answer and I will throw it at you.

We don’t live for experiences, to feel emotions, to do what we want. Once you get tired of doing all this (and believe me- this rarely happens), you will want to stop this. There is a way. A way where you believe in your soul and your spirit…the undying flame in you. Think…NOT! The answers will come to you eventually, whether you are ready or not. You will see the world as it is, a base, a foundation to grow. You shall grow spiritually. You shall attain great heights, but you will never look back. This is the truth. The world we believe in will be reduced to shreds, just like my perfect illusions have been shattered. I have been broken multiple times and I know this. The sooner one realises the truth, the better. Because, ‘Darling, the world is a nightmare dressed like a daydream’. It is a place where we gasp for existence, though the streams of life flow brimfully. Everything beautiful is hideous and everything hideous is beautiful…

Of course, how would I know this? Well, I breathe my last few moments when I tell you this. I am a hundred years old and I lie in my grave when I tell you this- ALL illusions are meant to be and WILL be shattered. After all, it is all for your own good…