Nidhi Mishra



Nidhi Mishra


Questions Unanswered...?

Questions Unanswered...?

6 mins

Its bright sunny morning not because sun is shining on 27th October, but also because someone is all set to shine.In spite of a tiresome journey she is smiling while moving from one counter to other for completing the formalities in the campus of Allahabad University, as this time she is here to collect her Migration Certificate. Mohika, a studious girl, favorite of her teachers and fellow students who has been awarded gold medal for securing First position in M.A. Psychology(with honors). She has got admission in Standford's University California which is well known for its academic strength and is one of the world's leading teaching and research institute. As she got the certificate she rushed in a haste for the railway station.The train was already at the platform, she hurriedly boarded the train and settled on her upper berth. It was a hectic day for her and she needed some rest, so she closed her eyes and was about to dive in sleep but she failed to do so because of the conversation between a girl and boy who were sitting on the lower berth. Although she's not interested in their conversation but those guys were having little strange expressions which made her inquisitive and they were so engrossed in themselves that they couldn't noticed her, also there were very few passengers in the coach. Apart from this her mind was in conflict to decide which branch she should opt for her research, she has to prepare a synopsis for that but Alas! that doesn't seems to happen right now.

The girl was saying,"Are we in a relationship? If yes, then what's that? We are here together for some reason. What's your reason to be here?" There was a pause for a minute or two and a question was thrown by him instead of an answer. He said, "You tell me your reason then I will let you know mine."

Few words mumbled from her lips then she continued softly may find it ridiculous but this is not the first time I've been feeling affectionate to someone...I'm not sure whether its your dazzling eyes or your ways and charming smile or whether its just an honest confession of yours that you admire me or its your dare to say that you've fallen for me and find me irresistible or you inspired me to feel the magic of expression by speaking out my heart or by understanding what all I was going through or by making my sleepless nights interesting when you talked to me through silence or when you say you wished to see me badly and madly or when you say you love missing me at times or when you say that look wise I am beautiful but thought wise I am more beautiful or when you simply ask me to calm down and say don't trouble yourself or when you say it brings smile on your face whenever you think of me...

I've not completed yet ,but I guess these are sufficient reasons of mine ;Now can you please tell me for what reasons you are here?...Is it pleasure or happiness ?"

Sleep is miles away from Mohika's eyes and now she really wanted to know what he is about to say....After a small pause he started....Did you somewhere find that I am faking or lying to you?Did you ever feel that I've shown some wrong intentions or feeling for you? Did I ever try to take advantage of you over the time?...or going in that direction.

And then there was silence....awkward silence...

Mohika can't see him but she felt as if he is all into tears....and silence was shattered by deep voice in low pitch...I was kind of lost and felt so confidant while talking to you....I was having nobody with me here and I just got you.I never felt any better than this before. Even after working for the whole day I never felt sleepy or tired while talking to you...I don't even remember when I was so happy in last duration.... It was with you I always felt gratified whether I'm talking to you or just thinking of you. Even in my bad days I was able to think of you....It was you who were with me in my bad days. I recalled you always whenever I found myself stuck in quagmire and now you say...I've changed....Who recalls someone in problem and that too 24x7...I do agree I had other intentions previously...over the time it was turned into something else. For me it is a pristine companionship...friendship or whatever you may call...Initially it was pleasure when I started but over the time it became happiness more appropriately not over the time was since I met you 23rd of March and yes I admit... I realized it little late....I felt I'm not alone, not just in Bangalore but in my life also...I felt alive just because of you. In last one and a half years I've lost myself in this world...alone in crowd...and just because of you I was able to recognize myself and I was so happy that there was happiness in my life I never experienced.....but you know that I never knew that we will ever come to a point like this that we would be talking like this ...I just felt I never wanted to end however, you were always giving me options, that I can quit at any point of time although it was always difficult for me to hear and it was not easy to respond to this...Did I ever complained? This is something I do not find easy to talk about...I have met such a wonderful person in my life...why would I like to lose you just because we both are married?...I really feel bad about you...but I'm also in fix...Previously I had to start a new life, and at that point of time I turned towards for an equally good option which was feasible and achievable too and now I'm confused with my emotions and therefore I can't deny the fact that I do feel intimate towards no one else but you but what is troubling me is the fact, Do I really want this? or its just the beginning where I will end up hurting you...I can't do anything about this. All I can say is I really feel sorry for you!

Mohika's enthusiasm is elevated...what's next?...and there were giggles instead of sobs...which amazed Mohika...because the girl continued in cascading voice..."I was very sure that someday we are going to have such talk...but for sure I don't want you to love me...I really don't want you back ...I simply want the life we had...some nice and lovely moments that we share and care for each other...but its difficult for you ...I understand...because right now you are sailing in the same boat from where I have started this arduous journey which changed to be facile and pleasant one for me because of you and your magical words and at the same time I know I'm a simple girl not the magician who can hold you in her spell. Anyways I wish you with life's biggest joys and never-ending bliss...and I assure you I will never disturb mails....however I can't say when I'll stop expecting the same from you....Alright my stoppage is about to I must put full stop to my flow...else this coach will be flooded..(giggles)...She picks her bag and was about to step towards the gate, Bye! Have a nice and happy journey. ..He calls her...Hey please stop....Do I still deserve a hug from you? She turned back and this time Mohika could see her smiling face...She moved forward and hugged him for a while...time enough to wipe her tears and waved a good bye to him and left to the gate hastingly.

Mohika could not stop herself from thinking, did he noticed her teary eyes?....Anyways now her confusion to choose the branch of psychology is cleared...she is going to opt for Physiological Psychology which describes the biological behavior, as there's a close relationship between body and mind the functions of each other are mutually influenced....biology affects the emotional responses.

Mohika is unable to conclude whether loving someone goes beyond the physical presence?

..Did he apparently said that he loved her because he needed her?


Did she abstractly said that she needed him because she loved him?

...Ah!This time Mohika is neither having answer to these questions nor she wants the answer?

...after all some times the best option is to leave some Questions Unanswered!!

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