Pondering

As I watch from the corner of my eyes, time passes. The hour hand does a 360 around the clock base, and I stop to think about what I'm doing. 

If at all it is worthwhile. If it is good. If it is what my past self would've wanted his future version to do. If it is something that my future self would regret. If it is something not worth wasting my time on. If it is actually something that I myself in the present want to do.

People who care about me, tell me that I shouldn't pay attention to stupid stuff. They say that everything and everyone that comes in my life is going to and will leave me. Whether it is by choice or by chance.

I don't know who is genuine and how to make people stay. Other than being nice and genuine myself I don't know what to do. I guess things are not so simple. The person who you decide to be your friend must himself judge whether to be in your life. This is done on the basis of your existing friends.

I don't know why it can't be me who's judged. Like how does it matter who I sit with, if I'm the one spending time with you.

I heard someone say that to "be nice" is to stupidly believe the theory "How you treat others is how you'll be treated". It's when I realised that I didn't treat anyone or anything like this. 

The same person also said that people should be kind and not nice. He told everyone to be kind to yourself first and then to others.

I don't know where this text is headed or what point am I trying to make. I just know that whilst I was pondering between the past, the present and the future. The clock just made another 180 and the Sun rose from the depths. I guess I'll leave this thought here and get started with the day like nothing has happened. Like everyone else seems to believe what the case is...

(...Gets up from the bed and leaves the baggage that weighs him down behind..just to come back later that day to tie himself up...)

(...This has been going on since a long time and probably will continue till he comes to his senses or till time allows for him to grow stronger than the weight that pulls him down......)