Nothing changes when nothing changes

Nothing changes when nothing changes

One of my friends used to say this all the time and she was right, nothing changes when nothing changes. You have to want to make a change in your life for something to happen, it's not just going to happen on its own.

If you read my blog you know that I'm a big believer that anybody can change. If you truly want to, you can change anything about your life, anything about who you are, anything about your circumstances, it's up to you.

In order to change this must come from you, you can't do it because someone else wants this for you or to please someone and certainly someone else can't do this for you. You need to wake up and decide I'm done, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired and I want a change.

You definitely can't do this for somebody else, to please someone else, because eventually you're not pleasing yourself and you'll go back to the way you were. This must be all about you and for you.

Saying all of this, there are some people who will never change, that's just who they are, or should I say, that's just who they choose to be.

Take my grandmother for instance, she was a mean bitter, negative woman all of her life. I can't remember a day when she wasn't like this. This is who she was, she hated men, she never had a nice word to say about any of them and she always criticized everything.

As a little child when I would do something wrong, she wouldn't talk to me for days and we lived in the same house. Do you know what that does to a child? It makes you try harder, it makes you become a people pleaser, it makes you think there is something wrong with yourself. Yes, she was that horrible. 

Now she could have changed if she wanted to, I absolutely believe that, yet she chose to be this person every single day. This made me not want to be like her and everyday I look for the good, for the positive in life. I chose this because I knew I never wanted to be like her.

I remember when I wrote about my cousin being mean spirited and petty as a child, and as an adult she is no different. Could she have grown up to be a different person? Absolutely, but she didn't, as an adult she is still the same jealous, bitter and mean spirited person.

I have a friend who says he wants to change, he's sick of his girlfriend treating him like crap. He says he is sick of drinking every night, sick of who he is and how he treats others yet he is still there, still drinking, still acting like he's a teenager, still giving it lip action but nothing else.

My ex boyfriend, who I love dearly, has been telling me the same story for years: he's moving, he's going to become rich, how he's building this house. He made this amazing invention that absolutely could make him rich but as of yet he had done nothing about it. He has done none of these things he speaks of nor made any effort to try to achieve these goals.

A great bible verse is "Faith without works is dead"  

Meaning if you have faith but do nothing about it, it's not happening! That's the truth.

That's like saying you want a man yet you don't go out, you're not online on the dating site, you're not putting any effort into finding a man but you have faith.... What do you think that Prince Charming will knock on your door, on one knee with flowers and chocolates? Get real!

Yes, you need to put effort, go to an AA meeting, start looking for that land to build that house. Start saving, decide you're not going to be mean, read self help books, go to consulting, leave your verbally abusive girlfriend, don't talk, do!

I have many friends that have changed, one of my friends started a new career at 45, went back to school, got her degree in what she always wanted to do.

My other friend stopped doing drugs and partying, turning her whole life around. She now eats right, exercises and is pursuing her dream of being an artist. She is a huge role model for others in the same situation, giving back to help.

I had a friend that was 350 pounds, couldn't walk, on all kinds of pills. When doctors told him he was going to die, he decided to change. He is now a coach, he looks terrific and is helping others do the same.

I was miserable, unhappy, I didn't like myself or my life. So I stopped talking shit and decided to change my whole life. I changed my career, my attitude, I left an extremely wealthy marriage with nothing. I even pushed myself to do a marathon, and I hate running and I did a triathlon even though I couldn't swim! I quit drugs, I gave up cigarettes, I changed my whole life not once but twice.

Really you can't change?

Go petal that BS somewhere else. Anyone can change anything in their lives and I am proof of that.

So today my friends, I am here to tell you that I am a true believer that anyone can change, you just really have to want it.

Will there be setbacks along the way? Absolutely. Will you repeat mistakes, no doubt! Will it feel impossible at times? You better believe it. Nothing is easy and I am not here to lie to you, I am not Willy Wonker I am not going to sugar coat shit! 

But nothing is as gratifying as when you accomplish what you set out to do. Nothing makes you feel as good as change, even though it might scare the shit out of you, I am here to tell you it's all worth it. So make that change today, because trust and believe nothing changes when nothing changes 

"Be the change you want to see"

@Treadmilltreats