Newish Life

I don't feel horny for my wife, I don't feel any love for my wife, how can I say to the world that how much pain I feel in the closed room where I am allowed to spend my first night with the newly married bride? How can I say that I don't want to start my married life with a body, not with a soul that has been conquered by someone else? How can I say to my conscience that I am innocent and I can't do any marital rape? 

Ragini, Why didn't you conceal the truth, that you had loved someone else, why didn't you hide the invisible wound that your lover had offered you on your soul, I asked? 

'I could do nothing in front of the pride of my family, I could do nothing for my lover and I will not do anything for you also and if you want to play with my body, I will not oppose, but my soul will never be with you, come and rape me, nobody is there to stop you, its legal', she responded to my question. 

Why did you marry me, Ragini, why did you destroy my dreams so brutally, why did you give me the punishment for the sin I have not committed? Tell me his name, I will bring him to your life, it's my moral duty as a husband to give you all happiness of life, it's my responsibility to give everything that I have, I have circled around fire, I have given you vermilion, I have given you sacred thread, I have given you bangles and I have given my heart to you and now I can't retreat, I have to perform my duty, I have to do the things that will bring happiness to you. 

'Rajat, you will not be able to do anything, he will never come even if you try umpteen times, he will not come,' Ragini dropped tears to reveal that her lover is no more in the mortal world and the brutal society had killed her man. 

Hiding tears in my masculine eyes, I whispered, Ragini, I am extremely sorry to know this and but tell me what will I do for you? 

Clasping me in her arms, Ragini, dropped tears on my shoulder and cooed, 'I don't want to lose my love again, I don't want to miss a person of your caliber, I don't want to deprive myself of such a genuine person, I don't want to remain separated from my husband, won't you own the scars on my soul, won't you write your name on my soul erasing my bitter past?'

Nudging Ragini, I told, 'Ragini, I respect your past and my regards for you will never diminish, if you believe in me, then take shelter in my arms and I will cocoon you forever with my enormous love to accomplish the duty of a true husband.' 

Wasting no time, Ragini took shelter in my arms to submit her soul and like a bona fide lover, I rendered my services to her to start my newish life.