My First True Love: Me

My first true love is……….Whoa!! See this is where most people think you are talking about a guy or a girl. Well, sorry to disappoint you pals no juicy story here for you all. My first true love is ‘Me’.

Yes, you heard it right fellas. It’s me, myself. Hey! A girl gotta do what she gotta do. Selfish. Egotistical. Snotty. Vain. Yeah, yeah, I know these are your thoughts about me now. Behold buddy! Do not be quick to judge. Let me tell you a story here.

In the small town, Ooty, India, lived a cheerful girl named Ashmi. She was true to her name, happy and bright like a light. Perks of an easy life, right? Isn’t that where we all go wrong. Being human sucks sometimes because we are so ready to jump to conclusions. But as the saying goes “Do not judge a book by its cover.”

Ashmi came across a lot of hurdles. Being dyslexic, she was struggling with her studies. She faced bullies every day. Also, had a severe case of a break-up in college. Then a huge accident got her bedridden for six months just before her finals in graduation. She overcame all this with a smile on her face. She gave her love and care to everyone leaving nothing to herself. She thought that the blanket of the affection and support of her family made her invincible.

But what if that blanket is taken away?

One night it all changed. Her parents who were supposed to protect her from all evils became evil in her life. They sold her to a man for money. The lively girl turned into a wilted flower with no life left but just a living dead. That day, she got a real taste of betrayal. Her parents, whom she looked up to as her ideals turned out to be monsters in disguise with a lust for money. They were black souls, not the God-like figure as she thought. Her life changed into a living nightmare where she was used and abused by a different man every night. She had no one who loved her. She just wanted to end it all.

While sitting on the window sill with a knife in her hand, she saw an old lady with a walking stick on the road. She stumbled a few times yet kept on walking. Although it was quite a normal thing, somehow it got through Ashmi. She realized that her painful situation was another hurdle in her life which she has to overcome. She can’t be a living dead forever. She has to take a stand, love herself enough to fight this, and live again. So, she got up and planned her own rescue mission.

I know, your brain is running a mile. Yes, this is my story about how I came to love myself.

Sometimes, the simplest or smallest things/events can change your whole perception of life. Isn’t it? I went from being carefree to desolate and finally content in life. At this point, I can only remind you of the quote by Cassandra Clare in City of Heavenly Fire (The Mortal Instruments). “Temper us in a fire, and we grow stronger. When we suffer, we survive.” Now my motto in life is “Go Gonzo, Go Bananas”. Crazy, no? Well, that is me and I love myself first and foremost.