More Than Enough
More Than Enough2 mins 40 2 mins 40
I slept for 13 hours last night, but I'm still tired. Dreading the day, I decide to lay in bed for a few more minutes. God, can I just sleep forever? Finally, I get the courage to get out of bed. The sun is out, but it isn't illuminating into my dark bedroom. I make my bed, double-checking the wrinkles in the blanket.
I wish I didn't have OCD. I've had it for at least four years, and it seems to get worse every day. I continue to prepare for my shower, making sure not to forget every little detail. Work clothes, check. Body wash, check. I have so many things to do before work every day. Fast forward about an hour.
I'm finally ready for work. I take my long, boring drive to work. I'm always nervous to go in. I dread it so much. I deal with rude customers, getting yelled at for doing shit wrong, and so on. After a long 9 hours, I'm finally done. Finally, I can just go home and sleep. Of course, I stay up thinking for most of it, or I watch my favorite YouTuber just to wind down. I'm finally off to dreamland, where there is no stress or fear of what's to come the next day. Sometimes I have a stressful, but productive day.
Sometimes it's the complete opposite. Sometimes I feel good, and sometimes I don't. Every day has been a struggle, but I remind myself daily that I am enough. I was enough before. I am enough now. I will always be enough.