Men Seeking Help

Today at church, our guest speaker was Dr. Jay Barnett. He was a professional football player, and then his life fell apart. He fell into a deep depression, and he tried to commit suicide not once but twice. As a man, especially a black man, they are taught to be a man, to suck it up. To never show emotions, you are a man, get over it, and man up. 

After the second attempt, he finally got the help he needed and learned how to deal with what was trying to kill him from inside. So much so that he decided to go back to school and get his doctrine to help others.

This is the reason why so many men commit suicide. They feel they can't speak to anyone. They can't turn to their spouse because they are supposed to be the strong one. They come to church, and there they pray for them, which is great, but that's just covering up the pain not dealing with it. They feel they can't go to their male friends in fear of looking weak. So, they cover up their pain with drugs, alcohol, gambling, or women. Anything to cover the pain, to make it go away for at least a little while.

I am always shocked by how many men read my blog, so men, I am talking to you. I want you to know it's okay to cry. It's okay to ask for help. It doesn't make you weak in our eyes. It makes you human, and hopefully, it will make you a better man, a better husband, and a better father. It will be breaking generational curses. It will make you a better role model for the next generations.

Sometimes, it looks easier for women because whenever something is going on, we talk about it. We are not ashamed to go to our friends, our pastor, or to therapy or, in my case, all three as I needed all the help I could get. See, as women, we know talking about things helps work them out.

So today, my friends, especially my kings out there. Know that we all have had pain, but in order to grow into a healthy person, you must first admit you have a problem. You must seek out counseling, you must connect to a higher power whatever that looks like to you and you must know this in no means makes you weak, it makes you human and eventually it will make you a better man all around. I am so proud of my male friends who have done this, I know how much it has changed their lives, and it can change your life as well.

And like I say, at the end of every blog, only you can be the change you want to see.