Love Of My Life

Life is a Game, a hard core puzzled game. The more you try to come through it, the more you get strangled into. Each time you try to win over it and each time it unleashes a new card to set you aback. Every moment you plan to have it your own way and every moment a plan has been made against you to knock you out. No matter what you try to do, no matter what you think, no matter where you are, it will always be one step ahead of you to make you feel as residing in an inferno. Whatever your motive is to achieve, life has only one motto, to create a snag in that.

Well, most of you might not agree to it, all of you I think. But that's okay for me, as it depends on each individual's thoughts and perception towards it. Most of you might have enjoyed and might still be enjoying your lives, with or without any impediments but it's not like that to me. I've always tried, and tried hard to have my life, as it is a game, play by my rules but every time I had to scratch my own rule book. Why is it that, what I want the most, goes away from me, what I desire, turns out to be too strenuous to achieve and what I deserve, happens to be a miraculously impossible thing? These questions keep on crawling, like venomous snakes in my head and unleashing their venom. Perhaps I would never understand why it happens, and happens only to me.

Ahh!! There she is, just look at her. Doesn't she resemble a fairy from some fairy tale? I bet you. The way of her smile is killing me slowly. Have a glimpse of her eyes, you'll for sure...... WAIT A MINUTE!!! You all shouldn't be here. No way should you all interfere into this. Come on guys, have some respect for my feelings. Just take this out for a moment and let me take you elsewhere. A place where all this started, a place from where my journey towards hell began and that is this reception party. I know you all might be feeling bored in here and no hard feelings. Trust me; I was even more bored there as you all are feeling right now. But what to do, there was no choice left for me as it was a freaking family matter. Don't worry it won't go for long, I promise.

It was hell of boredom all over the place and still I was seeing people enjoying it. I was completely freaking out. I mean what people get in sipping coffee and discussing over disgusting matters. "That lady has a nice dress. The other ones saree is not at all in trend. Look at her makeup, she has just nailed it." When ladies of our country are into this bullshit why, our so called gentlemen should be left behind? "Do you see that boy; he is Mr. Sharma's son, has done engineering but doesn't have a job. He is just at home from past 6 months. Do you know Mr. Mehta? Vikram Mehta, the guy with grey French. His daughter had a love marriage and the guy is not of our caste." These are certain 'HOT TOPICS' for people around and they keep on blabbering around same thing. I mean there are lots of important topics that are creating havoc in the country; no one has anything to say on that. The only thing they have is opinions and that too loads of it.

Well you all might have come to a conclusion to the level of boredom I was into. But as I promised it didn't go for long coz there was something that was overcoming the environment of boredom. Among all the blabbering bullshit noise, there was a voice that was coming through and that made my ears attracted towards it. As the ears got excited with that sweet silvery voice, my eyes got exhilarated and made my head move in search of the melodious source. Well it didn't take long for my eyes to get stuck in there as they were not only seeing the source of a mellow voice but a belle of the whole party. What a face it was and what an alluring smile that was! Phew! For next few moments I was completely numbed with that beauty only till my mind pulled me out of that numbness and she was gone. She just vanished in thin air as if she was just a hallucination of mine which was gone when I came back to senses. And if it was so, I would have loved to hallucinate for my entire life.

Well, it wasn’t that I didn’t search for her but to only achieve disappointment. She was nowhere in the party and the party was back to its taste. Though I had a little fragrance of interest to remain in the party but that was all momentarily and thus, came an end to that moment of interest that was flickered within me. God knows how the party continued after that coz my presence there was just physically. Mentally I was in dreams of her, admiring her beauty, listening to her pleasant voice. It was just like that particular moment was fixed in my heart to which my mind was playing repeatedly.

A month passed and I had no idea about her. Moreover the only thing I had of her was that glimpse of the party and nothing else. Slowly, as days passed she got faded down the memory lane of mine. But keep in mind guys, Life had something else planned for me. There was something unusual that Fate did decide for me. It was a hot evening of the summer when I was in the market, almost done with my shopping. So, was planning to have something chilled as the temperature was killing me and hence turned towards the ‘Kulfi Corner’ only to know the reason of this high temperature.

There she was with her Kulfi and licking it with utter delicacy. That very instant all those faded moments, which I almost forgot got enlightened. They just got shifted from the rear shelves of my mind to the top most ones. Well I found her finally and damn she was so stunning that evening. She made a normal evening to an ‘Eve of Heavens’ on earth. I was completely bewitched by her looks and once again went to the world of imaginations with her. That too didn’t go for long as once again my brains shook me up from my imagination and once again she made me believe that I was hallucinating. She was nowhere in the whole market as I turned it upside down in search of her. Thus, with another memory of her I went back home.

Well, time passed and so did the memories of her and the day came for me to leave my home. I was doing my higher studies out of town. My college was located in the foothills of The Himalayas, in a small town near Shimla. It wasn’t that there weren’t any colleges in my town but I was not willing to have my higher studies in there. I had a passion in me towards Literature since childhood and wanted to carve my career in it and in doing so I wanted a place very peaceful and serene. So what would be a better place than a hilly area where people are so close to nature? I had already passed through my first year of college and was moving towards the start of a new year.

I was at the station waiting for my train to arrive when all of a sudden my eyes pulled the chain of my mind to have an emergency brake. It was like life was playing a game of hide and seek with me by bringing her in front of me again and again. I do not have to describe her beauty again as I am left with no words. This time too I was a total blank at that moment and once again my brains had to come ahead in saving me as the train did arrive and I was still at the platform. Well I rushed in to the train and had my luggage kept at my place and went out in search for her but all in vain. Once again I failed to know her, once again Life did succeed in hiding her from me and once again she succeeded in making me believe that I was hallucinating.

Well the train moved and so did I with another set memories of her with me. The journey was as usual a tiring one so as soon as I reached the destination I straightaway moved to my hostel, met my friends took a lot of rest and was ready for college the next day. Well the first day of college is always exciting as everyone gets to see new faces specially girls. That day was way too exciting as lots of new and lovely faces came to picture. The day was going as usual with friends when all of a sudden my friends asked me to look at someone. I had just to turn coz life has kept a surprise for me. It was the same face that kept appearing from past few months and had made me gone crazy over it. But this time I didn’t let her succeed in making me hallucinate.

This was only because along with her in my mind few questions too, were there. How in the whole busy world I am seeing only that particular girl? How in the whole mortal world with uncountable number of colleges she is in my college? Say it as a coincidence or a fate, but this was happening, and was happening only to me. This time I didn’t give up coz I need to know her. She had bothered me a lot from past few months and I couldn’t let that happen. Now this was my chance as I knew she cannot vanish from here anymore. But the only question was how to know about her. I may be a guy with all the guts in the world but when it comes to talk to girls, I cannot even utter a word. So approaching her was a huge challenge to me, as huge as the Himalayas.

As I am a slow and steady guy, I dropped the idea of approaching her and also it was hitting the hell out of me. Days passed and my progress towards her was this: she comes to college at 8 in the morning, has lunch at 2, and goes to library at 4, goes back to her room by 6. She stays in the girls’ hostel located just outside the college and her name is…. Oh snap!!!!!!!! I don’t know her name! What a loser am I! Well this didn’t go for long as ‘Every dog has a day’, and that day was mine. It was for sure that Lady Luck had her Hands on me unknowingly. As usual at the time of lunch I was waiting for her in the canteen when I saw her with someone. That luck was this friend of hers whom she was with. She was the younger sister of my friend who came running towards me as she saw me.

We were good friends as I met her often whenever I visit my friend’s place and guess what, she talks a lot. So there was no need to speak to her as she will pull out your tongue to talk. She is so talkative that she could even talk to the walls. But I should thank her and the talkative nature of hers as that nature of her brought her towards me. As I saw her coming towards me my mind was on its happiest mode as it was well aware that this could be it. This is the time when I will officially know her. “Hi Akshat”, she said to which I replied, “Hey Deepu, a pleasant surprise”. Her name is Deepshikha but we used to call her Deepu. And then continued her natural behavior, the chattering of hers but still I didn’t care. I didn’t listen a single word of what she said as I was busy somewhere else.

“Who is this friend of yours?” I asked. “Won’t you acquaint us?” “Oh! I’m so sorry I forgot” she replied. “She is Bhavya”. And then came a grand success for me as I finally got her name and was delighted. That very moment I felt like I was at ease and I don’t want anything from life. The reason for me being on this earth was fulfilled and now everything’s over. I was dancing in my dreams when again my mind had to interfere in between saying you fool, you just know her name and not her. But that was enough for me for that particular moment.

Well from that very juncture I got hold of Deepu and along with her, Bhavya. We used to hangout whenever we get time in or outside campus and thus slowly and steadily I began to know her. Her likes, dislikes, her point of views on anything. In other ways you can say I began to study her. We became good friends of course and used to chat a lot. We had common thoughts on most of the things and the best result of it was that we were studying Literature in the same college far away from our home town. As days passed our friendship got more intense. We started spending more time with each other. We used to be together always though our classes were different. Be it in the canteen or the library we would be seen together and would always ignore Deepu’s chatter box.

Time had nothing to do with us so as we went ahead with our friendship, time too moved ahead and a year passed and it was time for our holidays. Our results were good and we were radiant while returning home. We had to go in the same train as our destination was same. So we were at the station accompanying each other waiting for the train to arrive. Yes, there were friends who came to drop us, but who cares. We were busy in our own world. Everything was going very fine when there was an announcement of the train being late. This announcement might have brought a disappointment to lots but made me happier instead. I was delighted as I would get more time to spend with her.

As the train was rescheduled late night we asked our friends to head back to their homes. Then we sat on the platform and started talking everything. It was hell lot of talk that we exchanged that night on the platform and I will never forget that night in my entire life. The reason is not only that we shared moments together like this but something else too. On one side I was happy that my life is coming on track with her while on the other side fate had already planned to derail it. My life was unable to bear happiness, it couldn’t see smile on my face. Everything was going on perfect and we both were cheerful but everything went to vain few moments later.

It was the announcement made about the arrival of the train and we started moving towards our coach’s expected point when she got a call to which she replied saying that the train has arrived. It wasn’t the first time that night receiving calls and updating the whereabouts of the train but this time it was different. Wonder what was the difference? Let me tell you the difference. May be this call was same for her but was different for me coz it made my life a hell. That call was different because I asked her who was on the other side. I don’t know what made me ask that question, why I was bothered by that call that very moment even though calls were coming at regular intervals. It wasn’t the question that sent me to misery but was the answer that came out from her.

To that question of mine she very softly replied, it was her boyfriend on the other side. That very word made my entire mind into an attack. I was totally paralyzed for a moment. I didn’t know what happened after that. When I came back to my senses, I was in the train. My legs helped me to board the train, my eyes helped in searching the seats my hands helped in carrying the luggage but where did I go, I too didn’t know. That full journey after that I barely spoke to her. She too was confusedly suspicious that what happened to me all of a sudden. She tried to talk to me to which I just nodded. I was unable to come out of the shock. We reached our destination from where we parted our ways towards our homes.

All this time I was in a tremendous dilemma. Lots of questions kept arousing inside my mind. Why didn’t she tell me earlier that she has a boyfriend? Why now? Apart from all these questions there was a question that was almost killing me from inside. Why am I so bothered if she has a boyfriend? After all we are just friends, isn’t it? Or am I in love with her? Yes I do love her but to what extent? Do I love her that much that I can take her boyfriend’s place at any cost? Does she deserve me instead of him? I could keep her happy for her entire life, but isn’t she happy now? Who am I to her? I might love her a lot but does she even think of loving me? Such questions were showing me the toughest times. I passed a week with all those questions within me when one day a call came.

“Hey Akshat, what happened? No texts, no calls. Are you okay?” Well the voice was enough for me to come out from those freaking questions. I had a talk with her and this continued as usual as if that night never came. That very moment I came up to a decision that I’ll love her always for my entire life but she will be my friend- a true and best friend ever. I’ll never let my feelings come between our friendships. My feelings towards her will be solely mine. I cannot let my feelings hurt her as I couldn’t see her in pain and sorrows. So this friendship will continue forever and is still in hand after 6 years from then.

Now both of us are with jobs but in different cities. We may not be that much frequent in passing by chats currently but we often use to follow each other’s lives. Time was on its own running spree and lives of us were just remnants of it. Time changed and so did our lives, only thing remained was our friendship. And now there she is with the same smiling face that I saw at the very first time. It seems like time has left running and went back to repeat itself.

Just look at her, a beauty you cannot resist admiring. The eyes, so deep and exquisite, that you’ll wish to spend the entire life in it. Those midnight black hair of hers, waving over shoulder as if a morning breeze. There she is with all gorgeous artistry welcoming everyone with that luring smile of hers and here I am standing at the gate with a bouquet in my hands still thinking about our time together. There are still thoughts in my mind that perhaps this wouldn’t be the scenario. Perhaps there is still a chance of me being with her. But these are just mere thoughts of my unsatisfied heart that isn’t ready to accept that she is gone and how could it accept that. After all she is the one and only love it ever had.

There she is with all her serene grandeur ready for her future with her love and here I am waiting for my love to go away forever. There she goes guys… There she goes... “THE LOVE OF MY LIFE”..