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Deepa Hari

Abstract


2.4  

Deepa Hari

Abstract


Life Of Being Lesbian

Life Of Being Lesbian

4 mins 258 4 mins 258

My father was a drunken. He abused my mother before I was born. He was drunk at my birth, he tried to kill me when I was newly born before my mother finally left him.


We never had enough money to support ourselves, I guess that was one of the reasons my Mother always had to have a boyfriend.

Right after my little brother, we were so broke, and I used to live with my grandparents.


She got another boyfriend, he adopted me, we thought he was a good guy, but he was also drunken.

Then later my mother had to divorce him.


I was crushed that's when I believe my depression very first popped up not long after that my best friends went online and posted a video about how I was a Lesbian, they sent to everyone in my school 

Got more views on this, I started to cut myself and felt depressed a lot.


Nobody likes me in this world.

My mother was already in tension, but she found me cutting myself every day she took me to a counselor to have a checkup, but they told me I was normal.

Then later I came to know that I was about to go out of town, then I took razors to cut myself in school my friend seen and took me to teacher, she took me to principal, then called my mother and told me to take me to counselor again, but they told I was normal, but still, I was in medicines.

No one in my family liked me no one in my school liked me no one cared me even if I cut myself, and they don't care that I want to die.


The time came when my results were announced I had performed well, but they refused to pay my tuition at the university, so I had to tell them the truth about my feelings for the same sex.


What they did they organized a family meeting to device ways of making me straight, and I come out of that horrible behavior. The family decided to organize a collective rape and I did not know about it, they wanted it to look as if it were done by other people. They did not want me to know that it’s them who had organized it. My brother was the ring leader and my mother did not know about this because she was always on my side. I was raped, and the bad thing I got pregnant, but I thank God that I was not infected with HIV. They got to know that I was pregnant, and they knew that I will abort so what they did my brother took me to my uncle's place because if I stayed home my mother would help me abort because she was not in support of it. My uncle made sure I do not leave home until I gave birth.


I gave birth to twins, and so, they thought they had cured me. My partner was there for me, and she supported me very much during this period until I gave birth. She would come at my uncle place to visit me and bring for me something’s to use so after giving birth, one day my brother found her at my uncle place she had come to visit me, my brother told them that I was still a lesbian she told them that me and my girlfriend still see each other. They confronted me and asked me whether am still lesbian, and I told them point-blank that I will never have feelings for men and I will never love men. I told them I have someone I love, and she loves me too.


They decided to disown me, and they threw me out of the house and told me to leave with my kids. They said that I am a bad omen to the family. I don’t know the father of my babies, but I love them very much though one of them is asthmatic and this scares me a lot, I did not manage to finish my education, and yet, I passed my exams well.”


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