Letting Go (Chapter-30)

Jilliana

The hours felt like minutes, and the minutes like seconds. With every touch, every kiss, every moment with him, Jilliana felt a wave of elation and satisfaction that surpassed what any amount of alcohol or drug could. She stared up at the ceiling with her left hand supporting her head and her right hand resting on her stomach.

“I really think I could,” Jilliana said as she turned to Patrick, “I could totally stop smoking and drinking, right now. Cold turkey.”

Patrick let out a laugh. He rolled over to face Jilliana, who couldn’t help herself from glancing down at the grey sheet covering the lower half of his body, and visualizing what lay beneath it.

“Jills, there’s no way that’s going to happen.” Patrick smiled at her in his usual playful way, sending a rush of sensations down Jilliana’s spine that made her toes curl. She rolled over to face him.

“Are you saying I can’t do it?”

“Oh, I’m not saying that,” Patrick reached forward and cupped Jilliana’s left breast in his palm, “you could totally do it. But you won’t.”

Jilliana looked down at his hand and murmured quietly as he massaged her breast with his thumb.

“If I can have you,” she reached her left hand beneath the sheet and stroked him lightly, “then I would. You’re better than any drug.”

Jilliana felt him grow firmer at this. She leaned in closer to him, feeling goosebumps follow the path of his hand as it moved from her breast to her lower back. Within moments he was on top of her, entering her in the same careful way that he had earlier that morning. Jilliana closed her eyes and surrendered herself to him, allowing her body to relax beneath Patrick’s as he pressed deeper inside of her. Their breaths were synchronized, alternating between shallow and deep inhales as he wrapped his arms tightly around her and molded her body into his. He was controlling her. He was dominating her. And Jilliana had never felt so free.

The sound of her phone going off in the living room broke the peaceful, post-love making silence in Patrick’s bedroom. Jilliana didn’t budge. She was too comfortable to move, lying with her head upon Patrick’s chest, her legs intertwined with his.

“You should probably get that,” Patrick said finally, when the phone started to ring for the second time. Jilliana could feel him slowly push himself up, forcing her to sit up as well. She let out an annoyed grunt before rolling off the edge of the bed and pulling one of Patrick’s shirts over her head as she walked into the living room to her phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey Jills, it’s me.”

“Oh, hey Serena,” Jilliana took a seat on the edge of the couch, “you’ve got a new phone number.”

“Yea,” Serena’s voice had a somber tone to it, “a fancy Blackberry.”

Silence followed. Jilliana wasn’t sure whether or not to say something, so she waited for Serena to continue.

“So I uh… I quit. My job.”

Jilliana rose her eyebrows in surprise. She glanced over at Patrick, who had joined her in the living room.

“What happened? Are you okay?” She responded, watching as Patrick made his way across the room to sit beside her. She looked at him and shook her head slowly as Serena continued to speak.

“He bribed me, Jills,” Jilliana could hear her sister’s voice quiver slightly, “Troy. He told me I’d be promoted if I agreed only to interview with his paper. So I just quit.”

Jilliana could tell from the sound of Serena’s voice that she was beginning to panic. She replied, trying to speak as calmly as possible.

“You’re talented, Serena. You’ll find another job. Don’t worry--”

“I don’t know Jills,” Serena started to speak faster now, “I really didn’t think the whole thing through. I mean, he didn’t say he’d fire me if I said ‘no.’ I could have just turned down the offer and kept my job. That didn’t occur to me until after I did it. Now I’m back to where I was four years ago -- an unemployed aspiring reporter in one of the most competitive and expensive cities in America. Damn it, I’m such an idiot!”

“Serena, you’ll be fine. Trust me,” Jilliana looked at Patrick with a worried expression, “are you still there now?”

“No… but I have to go back later today to finish clearing all of my stuff out. I’m on my way to the attorney’s office to meet about Michelle’s will.”

“Oh, right. I forgot you had that,” Jilliana stood up and walked toward the kitchen, “are you gonna come straight back to Pat’s place after you finish clearing out your office?”

“Yea. I mean, I have nowhere else to go.”

“Okay. Well, I love you Serena. Let me know if you need anything- and don’t worry about this. We’ll get through it together,” Jilliana pulled two cans of Coke from the fridge and walked back to the living room, “and I’m sure the meeting will be fine.”

She handed Patrick a Coke and sat beside him.

“Thanks Jills. I’ll see you soon.”

“Yea, see you soon. Love you, bye.”

Jilliana popped the can open and took a sip.

Patrick took a long gulp. “So, what’s up?”

As Jilliana updated Patrick on the phone call, she grew increasingly irritated by what Serena had done. She put down her Coke, lay down on the couch, and rested her feet on Patrick’s thighs.

“I mean, Serena lectures me this morning about keeping my job, then does this. Of course I have to be there for her… but come on. If I had the job that she had, and my boss offered me that promotion, I wouldn’t think twice. Who cares if he’s an asshole?”

Jilliana reached for her Coke, took another sip, and placed it back on the coffee table. She picked up the lighter and box of cigarettes.

“Want one?” She offered the box to Patrick.

“I thought you were gonna quit. Cold turkey.” He looked back at her with a smug smile.

“Shut up” Jilliana placed the cigarette between her lips and lit it, “this one doesn’t count anyway. It’s not a leisurely smoke,” she closed her eyes and took a deep inhale, then an exhale, “it’s because I’m pissed off.”

Patrick smiled and shook his head. “Pissed off because Serena quit her job? Or because she’s on her way to get a good load of money from Michelle’s will?”

Jilliana laughed sarcastically. “Thanks for that,” she nudged his side with her foot, “but no. I’m pissed because one of us has got to get our shit together,” she took a puff of her cigarette, “so I’m gonna call the restaurant and take a shift tonight.”