Keep Swimming

It was coming for me. I could see it dauntingly rushing towards me. The darkness was coming to get me again, to eat me up bit by bit, it was coming to first feast on my flesh, then on my bones and lastly on my soul. My head was throbbing against my skull, my breaths were shallow and short, I could feel my lungs constricting inside my ribcage with every second. I was gasping for air, for whatever that could prevent me from drowning in this approaching darkness. But I was going to drown in it, I know I was going to drown, so badly, so terribly..

But then, your arm snaked around my waist, your fingers ran through my hair and your mouth was close to my ear. I knew what you were going to whisper next, and I also knew what would happen after that.

"Keep swimming.. " You whispered, and pressed your lips into my hair. And just like that you saved me from drowning, like you always did. I turned to face you, despite knowing you wouldn't be there. Still I did, like always and saw nothing, but felt your lingering presence in my soul.

You knew I was losing myself while loving you. You knew ours was the imperfect love, but I knew it was the perfect one. You knew I was convincing myself that we were everything, when we were nothing. You knew I was wiping away my existence while creating our identity. You knew, everything between us was magical yet toxic. You knew, we weren't loving each other with all we had, rather we were stealing pieces of one another to make us whole. You knew, we had everything in our bond still had nothing. You knew, it was unhealthy for me. You knew, we had to end it one day and you also had known I wouldn't be the one to do so. Thus you decided to take the thorns upon you only to save the fresh roses for me. Undeniably, the roses you had saved were now salvaging me and building me up again.

You parted from me while your heart shattered right beside mine. You turned away from me just like I had from myself while loving you. You torn yourself apart while making me stronger. You left me while slapping a reality check hard on my face, and my love, that was what reconstructed me again. And that was what taught me to love myself first, and that was what filled the void that had been residing in my heart for so long. Even after leaving, you made me a whole, you made me the girl I was capable of becoming, and you were the one to rescue me from the darkness that was always after me since you left.

You taught me not to float, not to drown but to swim. You taught me to swim through my misery and hurdles. You taught me to become the life jacket of myself, you taught me to become the sails of my ship, and last but not the least you instilled the will of swimming deep in my soul. And whenever I found myself drowning, you were still there to hold me up, to lift me up, and you still are there. You always will be there.

"I'll keep swimming, for me and for myself.. " I mumbled before succumbing to slumber, still feeling your presence deep in the pit of my soul.