If You Have No Reason To Live For Yourself, Live For Others.

He would just sit there alone in the dark, hurting himself more often than not. Chaos had spread over his life so fiercely that he didn't want anyone to interfere between him and his demons. 

Seeing him broken, something in me just wanted to grab hold of him and squeeze out all the pain. I wanted to kiss out his aches, caress his pierced soul and breathe in all his disasters.

To shower all my love on him was all I wished to do, expecting absolutely nothing in return. But, he needed the love of the one he loved. Not mine :') 

He didn't want to see me around despite my repeated pleas. I wanted to penetrate beyond his built up walls, hold his hand and bring him outside the world he had made for himself ever since she left. She wouldn't be returning, the one who goes to heaven never returns. But none had accepted the fact that she had gone, neither he, nor his eternal love. He waited for her and I waited for him. No, I wasn't selfish, I didn't want him to come out of that phase for myself, it was all for him. I had never experienced love before, what they say in stories and movies was never my cup of tea but then you find something, somewhere you're not even looking for. This was selfless love, though I had fallen for him in his chaos, I just wished to bring him back to sane.

I would go to his room, only to be thrown stuff at and get hurt, but nothing could stop me, for my love was more powerful. I knew he was tired when the amount of things thrown at me reduced. His long grown beard and moustache, the still full food plates, the foul smell in his room, the deep cuts, blood still flowing through them, showed he had given up all the hopes of living anymore. I had to stop him before it was too late. 

 

He had starved himself so much that even I could hold his hands to make him have food and he couldn't just overpower me. I would then make him lie down on the bed and clear the room afterwards. Opening the curtains made him shrink his eyes and he was so much insane after the darkness that he would just crawl up to the windows to draw back the curtains to stop any light from coming in. I would then clean up his wounds, apply ointments and wipe him with a warm towel. It was a routine now, he wasn't even in his senses, so he didn't know what we were fighting for, it was I who was doing it all for him. He would fall asleep for an hour or two and I would sit down in front of him, looking at him, wiping off my tears and thinking of new ideas of making him live. 

One day, when I was sitting with my head bowed down on my knees, I was taken aback with some stuff being thrown around in the room. It was him, he had got some strokes and wasn't controllable. It was all getting worsened. I walked up to him quickly, grabbed him and gave him a tight hug, not willing to let him go until he felt secure. He did, he had calmed down and for me, it was a magic! Hope had just found way in my heart and I knew things were going to be fine soon. He won't forget her, but at least, he would be living a life, be it just in her memories and that was the maximum I would ask for, if nothing less. 

I had to drive away the darkness from his world, that would happen only if he had a reason to live and I had to give him that reason. 

I started taking him out of his room, into the parks, beside lakes, even for long walks and drives. It was working a bit, but I needed something more. He needed time, but I couldn't just take the risk of letting him be. I took him to an Orphanage and knew this is going to work for sure. He had always been working for children, played with them more often and had found his happiness in theirs. I made food and bought some gifts for them and asked him to serve them all. He was confused at first, but was bound to react with positivity. He took the food from me and started serving with his shivering hands to all the kids. They understood the pain he was going through and gave him a tight hug, all at once! A tear slipped off my eyes when he started feeding them with his own hands! This was working and I now knew what had to be done everyday. I started bringing him to the Orphanage regularly, the growth and the love that he showed was truly commendable. He was sane now. Though he would still fall asleep wiping off his tears while seeing her picture and keeing it on his heart, he had understood that he had to live for others. 

He rejoined his job just to work harder and earn for his kids, yes he treated all the kids with so much love and care that they had begun to see their own parents in him and that was a heavenly miracle, I believed! 

Gradually, things were sorted, he was a normal being, with a normal life, kids to look after, orders of the boss to follow and memories of his girl to cherish. He found happiness in his small world and me, I'm sitting right beside him, writing just a part of his story and occasionally eating the chocolates he brought for me, when he bought them for the kids. Being a part of his love and care is more than enough for me. :')