"I Clicked You In My Heart"

The Rabindra Nath auditorium was filled with crowd, the reason was the most awaited national photography competition. The wait was almost over and the winner’s name was about to be announced.

“And the best photographer award for this year goes to Mr. Akshat Mishra” …the voice echoed and the sound of claps and whistle filled the auditorium. Everyone was cheering as the home town boy has finally done it.

“Hey bro you won the competition, just go on the stage they all are waiting for you” the man sitting behind shouted. But I, Akshat Mishra myself couldn't really believe that this is really happening. This was something I have seen thousands of times in my dreams since past few years. And I was not really ready to believe that the small town boy, who few months ago didn’t even knew how to hold a camera  has really won this prestigious competition.

I still think that I don’t know anything about photography, not a bit of it. I just came here because she told me. I am not even close to what she used to click. I just taught photography as a fun but for her it’s like everything. For me this photography and all, was just a rubbish. Until she came into my life. Oh, I forgot mention about her…so this “she” is my love Anisha… or I say Anisha raj Fernandes. What is more strangre than her name was Anisha herself. I had never seen a girl like her before. A girl who rides a bullet instead of scooty, and that too early in the morning with a camera hanging in her shoulders. I used to see her when I was on my morning walk and she was on her mission of something.

Yes, some mission… at least that’s what I assumed at that time. Because I didn’t get any point for a girl riding bullet daily with her camera so early in the morning. There must be some mission right... I had many questions regarding her. I don’t know why… when no one cares why I was so curious about her. May be I was attracted toward her or may be something I really don’t know.

And finally, a day came when I got all the answers. I still remember... it was a usual day I went on a walk at 5’o clock and waited for her to pass through the roads on her bike. But strangely she didn’t come that day. I was little worried because she had never missed her “mission” before. So what should have happened today. I started wondering all this but finally I moved away to my destination.

Actually every morning I woke up for one particular reason and that is going to my favorite or I say my secret place. Far from the reach of chaos of the city where no one goes generally. It was my escape from worries of life and used to feel refreshed every morning when I reach there. The still water of the pond shines up with the first ray of the morning sun, that place was immensely beautiful.

So, it was a usual morning in my secret den till I heard an unfamiliar female voice from behind “hey hi… can I sit here?”. I turned and saw Anisha standing behind. I was dumbstruck at that point I wanted to tell her “why you didn’t come today”. “why you always carry that camera with you” “and why the hell you drive this bullet” …. but all I did is, stare at her like a fool. She was so beautiful; her eyes were so engaging and her smile was making me forget everything. She was the most beautiful girl I ever seen in my life, it seemed like some angel of heaven has forgotten her way and came onto the earth and I was a lucky idiot who met her.

After few minutes of awkward silence, she uttered in a hesitant voice “okay I think you don’t want me here”. She smiled and said, “You relax am going”. “No, it’s nothing like that, you please sit down. It’s absolutely fine” I interrupted breaking my silence and smiled.

“I am Anisha, I am new in this town. You?” she asked by opening her hands for handshake. “I am Akshat” I told giving my hand for the formal handshake and she did the same. As i touched her, I realized her hands were so soft that I didn’t want to leave it, I was ready to hold it for years. “okay you can leave my hand now” she smiled. ”I am sorry” I asked with a shy smile.

“So how did you find this place?” I asked with a curiosity because I had never seen anyone there before. “I don’t know actually I was on bike and suddenly the tires punctured, I walked down the lane and found this place” she was trying to explain me everything but I was just lost somewhere in her eyes. I was really not listening to her.

“By the way what are you doing here?” she asked me. ”I come here daily, it is an amazing place. No sound of traffic, no chaos of people. Actually no one comes here and that’s why I like this place.” I told her hiding my relish emotions. After that she opened her small pouch hanging over her shoulders and took out the camera. I had never seen such a professional camera before it was shiny black and really fascinated me.” Hey if u don’t mind can I know why you always carry that camera with you?” I asked with a bit of hesitation.  “Oh, actually I like photography, I travel to different places for perfect shots, but yes I am still waiting for my one master piece, that’s why I came here in Darjeeling. I will stay her for a month let see what happens” she described. That’s what she wanted, that seems to me a secret mission was actually just an artistic desire. As any other photographer, she just wanted to get her own masterpiece.

“I can help you” I said with a confident voice and looked at her. “how can you help me?” she uttered.

“you will get all your answers, just meet me tomorrow   the same place at 4:50 sharp and miss a be on time otherwise you will miss it” I asked and stood up to leave.  She smiled at me and said, “I will be on time sir and thank you Akshat”.

 

Next day I  was so excited that I reached there at 4:30. But  it seems that someone was more excited and eager than me. Yes, none other than Anisha as I reached there I saw her sitting beside the pond. She was clicking some pics with her camera. Whenever I have seen her before she never wore any Indian outfit but god knows why that day she came in a sky colored salwar kammez. She was looking damn beautiful. If anyone in this world would have seen her at that time, I bet you, can’t resist himself from falling in love with her and that’s what happened with me. “oh man I am in love with her” I told to myself placing my hands on my heart. I once thought of just telling her what I feel about her but I stooped because I knew it was totally insane who fall in love with anyone in just a moment .

I was totally engaged in my thoughts until her voice forced me into reality. “Hey Akshat when did you came man?  I was waiting for, I know I came too early but I was really excited so I can’t resist myself. Now will you please tell me why you brought me here? you know I can’t really handle this surprise element” she said with a childish emotion and a mesmerizing smile on her face.

I laughed at her childish innocence and said “just wait Anisha, what I am going to show you can only be shown after the first ray of sunlight. Now come with me”

I took her to large stone beside the lake and we both climbed on the top of it. “Now please be ready with your camera” I said having a look on to my wrist watch. She took out the fancy digital professional camera and took her positon. Suddenly the first ray of the sun striked the still water of the pond and some fish jumped on the surface of the pond. And now the most special movement of this mesmerizing place was ready to show the most beauty side of nature. “Every morning on this place when the first ray of sunlight falls on the dew of the leaves and grasses it get vaporized. The refection coming from the pond strikes the vapor and the fish jumping on the pond led tinny drops into the air creating a rainbow over the place. This all when combined creates the most beautiful saga of the nature” as I stoped my explanation I saw her. She was amazed by the scenario of the place. She took a photo and saw me. I noticed a glimpse of tears in her eyes. “Hey why are you crying?” I asked “Thank you Akshat, thank you so much. You gave me something that I was searching for my whole life. I finally got my masterpiece.” she uttered in an emotional voice and hugged me in her arms. I was amazed by her reaction and didn’t knew how to react. I hugged her and said, “you're always welcome Anisha”.At that time I thought myself as the happiest man on this planet.

After a while we came down and sat beside the pond. She was really happy. And I found this time appropriate for asking her something “Anisha can I ask for something?” I asked her. “Of course, Akshat tell me what you want?” she said in her most obvious cute tone. I wanted to tell her that all I want is you. I want to live with you, I want to love you, and I want to die with you. But all I said is “will you help me in learning photography?”

“Oh, that’s great Akshat, I will be pleased to help, please we can start from tomorrow. But before this I have a gift for you” she said in a joy and gave that black shinny camera into my hand and said, “take it and learn, give your time to photography and it will give everything you want to achieve in life”

“But Anisha please I can’t take it” I said handing back the camera but she refused. “Please Akshat take it. okay let’s make a deal when you will win your first photography competition then just return it back to me, is it okay?”

“Okay, Anisha” I said with a smile.

From that very day, my photography training started with the most beautiful teacher that any student could ever imagine. For me it was just way of meeting her daily but slowly I started to develop interest in it. Every time she explains me anything about photography took me closer toward it. She helped me in learning about each and every small detail and made me what I am destined for.

As the days went on, my feelings for Anisha grew even more and one day I decided to tell her. I took my phone to call her, I dialed her number and the ring started. With each time the phone rang my heartbeat became more and more faster.” hello Akshat how are you?” she replied. “I am fine Anisha actually I …I want to tell you…I want to say something” I stammered as I was so nervous. “relax Akshat what happened” she said in a calm voice. “can we meet today, at that place at 4 pm” I said holding my breathe. “of course, actually I also wanted to meet you, I want to say something to you” she uttered.

“okay then see you!” I was so happy that I didn’t noticed that she also wanted to tell me something. What she has to say, maybe she also feels the same as I do for her. Maybe she also wants to confess. All these thoughts were making me mad and I remember I was so excited at that point of time.

At 4 pm I reached there as decided by us I brought a rose for her but today she was not there. I thought she must have strucked in a traffic. And then I waited and waited. It was already 4:30 but there was no sign of Anisha till then. I took out my phone and dialed her but as soon as I called her I saw Anisha coming in her same sky salwar kameez, the same dress in which I saw her and fall in love. I smiled at her she was looking so beautiful, and the rays of evening sun had made her look even more adorable.

She came close to me. Before I could say something, she hugged me in her arms. I still remember the hug was so tight and passionate I couldn’t able to resist myself. I was about to cry because the girl I loved had finally became mine. As soon she removed me from her arms all my happiness and smile faded away. I noticed glimpses of tears in her eyes,  her face clearly shown that there is something wrong. As she tried to speak she couldn’t utter a word from her mouth and the drop of tear rolled down on her soft chicks and fallen into my hand. I had never seen Anisha crying but today she seems to be broken. Her drops of tears seem like burning my hand. I couldn’t really understand what happened.

“Hey Anisha what happened why are you crying, please tell me I will help you. I promise I will make everything right please tell me and don’t cry.” I tried to console her which at that time seems to be impossible.

“You can’t help me Akshat, infact the problem is so common that no one could help me. It happens with every Indian girl” she asked in a heavy voice. Her sadness was clear in her voice.

“But at least tell me” I insisted. “I am going back Akshat” she replied.

“what…. are joking with me. please tell me why are you going. Is everything all right?” I said in anxious voice. Now I have became more worried because till then I knew that I am going to lose her.

“I am getting married; my parents have fixed my wedding with a guy whom I have never seen and whom I never met. They just said her name is Anshul. He is a businessman and he earns good.” As she said her eyes were still full of tears and her voice was stammering. “He earns well is that all. That’s it for really. They don’t even ask me whether I want to get married or not?” she continued.

“What you will do now Anisha?“ I asked but I really didn’t want to know her answer I was broken and it was really painfull. It was like someone has thrown you from a high mountain and you know you will die but you can’t do anything, the same was happening with me.

“Nothing I will just go back.” She said and again started to cry. “Akshat will you do something for me?” she continued.

“Yes, of course Anisha please tell me.” I said.

“You became my part of life since past few months, frankly saying you are the only friend of mine that’s why I am saying this to you. I always wanted to participate in the competition that will be held next year here. I have always dreamed of winning it. Will you please participate in that competition and win it for me, please Akshat?” she pleaded.

I don’t want to participate in that. At that time, all I wanted to is to cry, I wanted to tell her that I love you please don’t leave me but I knew that it’s not possible. If anything, I could do for her I will do it. That what true love says right? And hence I accepted her request and said, “I will do it for you Anisha and I promise I will win only for you”. I holded her hand and gave her my fake smile. I was smiling from outside but what was happening inside of me I didn’t told her.

“I will win this game. And u remember no… I have to return your camera, as I promised” I said in a funny manner. She laughed and told me “I have to go now. My driver is waiting and I have to reach Delhi tomorrow. Please promise that when you will win, we will meet”

“I promise and bye” I said hiding my tears. After that the only thing I remember was the scene of losing her.  She sat in her car and went away and then the dam of my emotion broke. I cried and shouted but there was no one to hear me. I was alone with a crushed rose in my hand. My hand was bleeding due to the thorns of the rose has sown deep into my hand and I was heartbroken and devastated , crying alone  by sitting on my knees on the ground. That was the day I could never forget because it made me what I am today.

From that day, I worked hard each and every day to make her dream possible. And today her dreams have came true coz I finally done it.

“Hey what happened please go on the stage” the boy in a volunteer t shirt shouted breaking my thoughts. As I soaked up all the emotions I realized that I have already wasted a much time of the audience and organizers as well. I stood up and ran on the stage. The clap became more and more louder as I went on the stage. The small town of Darjeeling was really happy for his local boy. But I was happy because I will be meeting Anisha today I will tell her that I kept my promise and finally I will return her camera. I took the winning amount and the trophy thanked all the jury member and audience for their support and came outside.

I ran on the taxi stand and reached home. I booked ticket for Delhi. Its finally happening I am gone meet her. For all this hard time, I waited for this single day. The taught of meeting her is making me excited as I sat on my flight to Delhi I couldn't  really wait for that moment. I started to remember all the memories of how we met ,how I fallen for her and how she taught me everything. All this time passed away but my love for her didn’t changed. I still love her and I will always love her. All this thought were so engaging that I didn’t realized the time and finally my plane landed on the Delhi airport. I took a car from there and told driver the address where she lives now.The car drove through the beautiful city of delhi,through the beautiful lanes and roads and i realised why anisha always talked about this city. It was really amazing but i was not interested in that city. All i wanted to meet my love and then finally the car stopped. I paid the driver and rushed out in excitement to tha gate where she lives. 

As I went onto the gate that read “St. peter’s church”. I stopped and smiled 

Yes, she lives in a church and no she is not a nun or something. She lives behind the church in large garden under her fancy grave that has marble on it with a message engraved

                               “Anisha raj Fernandes…”

“she was the most beautiful girl with a golden heart. She was a good daughter and a fabulous friend.

    Born: 16th June 1992

    Died: 26^th October 2016”

 

I reached in front of her grave and stared to cry. I cried the same that day when she left the town and I informed that her car has fallen down the hill in a road accident. I still remember when I reached and saw your body soaked with blood. My whole world, my happiness everything has been snatched that day. I reached to your crushed down car and I found a letter in your car that you took that day to give me but you didn’t, that has your feelings written for me. I remember that letter that has written “I love you Akshat. Please be mine”.

But now I am standing in front of her grave alone and only I have now is her memories. “hey Anisha, how are you. Look I won and I am here to keep my promise. I am returning your camera and one last thing I love you Anisha thanks for coming in my life and making me what I am today thanks for everything” I said with tears filled my eyes. I placed that camera on her grave and that crushed rose that I took to give her that day. I took a last look at her and leaved.
Love has the power to make or ruin your life it’s all up to you how you take it. Love is not always being with the one you love sometimes you have to lose her also. My friends always ask me why I still love her and how…when I even don’t have her single photo. On which I always smile and tell them “I love her because I know somewhere she is waiting for me and I don’t need a piece of paper to love her. I don’t have her photo because my friend…………I HAVE CLICKED HER IN MY HEART”