I Chose Love...

Dear Diary,

Hi...

Today as I was about to wind up for the day, suddenly a thought struck me. It was about love. What does it mean to me and why should it be so important?

I had just finished following up the news and was about to go to bed when this happened. My mind was so flooded with the negativity in this time of crisis that I was feeling a bit perturbed. Like always, in my mind I held on to the need for peace, justice, well being and hoped that people ... and by that I mean everyone becomes cognizant of the need of the hour.

In this time of crisis when there is a need for everyone to be on the same page so that we can fight this war, day in and day out, I see the citizens of our country fighting for their basic rights and it makes me sad that their voice is being attempted to be silenced.

Inadvertently a thought came to my mind that if this is the state of matter with influential people, what can a middle-class person like me ever ask for? God forbid if I ever have to face a situation where terribly unfair things are done to me will I ever stand a chance for justice? Or... is it just some farce...

As these thoughts started crowding my mind I realized that I am drifting from my core self which believes in goodness and truth and found myself helpless yet again as I was also fighting a personal battle which I lost.

Just then something in me drifted and I asked myself how is it that I am able to sustain this loss? And within no time my mind answered... LOVE!

We are making choices each moment of the day and today I realized that I have chosen to let go of the past. Maybe I have lost a lot, but yet my core, my soul is intact. And one of the most important reasons for this is a very significant bond which I found very early in my life and it has stayed with me even today.

For me this bond has seen all the possible dimensions of friendship, inspiration, love, jealousy, bitterness, separation and reconciliation. Even after almost 25 years, this bond nourishes me like none other.

In that moment when my mind answered ... LOVE, it was this bond that I remembered and instantaneously felt all the negativity wade off. As if I had taken some magic potion! For the first time I realized the healing power of unconditional love.

I had read about love, thought about it, imagined a tonne things all my life, but what I felt today was priceless.

I realised that a lot of my life decisions have been revolving around this bond of love that I so cherish when in fact I am aware that we both are not bonded in any way. Its a mutual sense of well wishing and care that we share. That no matter where we are, what we are doing or with whom we are, we will always want that the other person is happy...

In this world where everything is so materialistic and conditional, I am happy to have found him as I can love him unconditionally. I can say that from my side for sure as I have never felt the need to ask him about his feelings... I think my unconditional love for him has helped me thrive really difficult situations in life and it does so even today. I know in every moment of my conversation with him that we weren't meant to me, yet I have no regrets. He is the same and I am the same and nothing ever changes between us!

And then, as my mind drifted from him back to the chaotic reality that we are in today, I instantaneously had a thought. What if each one of us could find one person or relation or thing or organisation or motive which is a symbol of 'love'or 'peace' or 'unconditional giving' for us and we make it a point to dedicate ourselves to it. Even anonymously like me. For instance, the person that I am talking about isn't aware of the feelings I have and it doesn't matter to me. What matters is the purity of it... the intention... Wouldn't the world be a better place then?

I know a lot of people in my life who have led their lives like this (I mean loving someone or something with their whole heart without any calculations...) and a lot who haven't and I also have had the choice to chose for myself and I have.

I have always chosen love!

After all it is what we believe we are that eventually makes us...

I hope when I write next to you I will have at the least one person chose love over hate or anger or war... Maybe that could make the post COVID - 19 pandemic world more livable reminding us of what we can be...

Maybe .... more human .....,whole....., loving.....

Until I write next...

Tonnes of love,

Soulstar.