I Am Grateful For My Life

With my birthday yesterday, it really gets you thinking. About life, about gratitude, about your health, about relationships, about many things in your life.

For me, first and foremost I give thanks to God for another year, because I know all too well that so many people haven't been lucky enough to see another birthday in these last few years. 

I know. there before the grace of God goes I… which means it could have been me but God's grace gave me another year and I am so very grateful for it.

As much as I've been through in my life, as many losses I've endured, as much hurt as I felt. Betrayals lied to, cheated on, being knocked down over and over. Through addiction, rape, and suicide attempts, I know that I still want to be here. I know that yes, I will experience more heartbreak but I still want to be here. I want to be that meme that when it's my time I go screeching into my grave screaming "What a frigging ride!!"

Yes, I want to be that 90-year bodybuilder or triathlon runner. I want to inspire others until my last breath. Life is so precious, it is so beautiful even with all the scars you get along the way. 

The scars just make you more beautiful, they tell your story, your survival.

I know that I am blessed beyond measure. I know that God has always walked beside me and many times carried me when I could no longer walk. I know that it's rare to have so many dear friends and family that you love and that are there for you. I know that I am blessed, 

I shouldn't be here but yet I am. I should have lost my mind but I didn't...lose all of it. I still have my humor, obviously. I still have my Tinkerbell beliefs about the good in people, the happily ever after in life. I see the cup half-filled even though so many times people have emptied it on me. I see the positive even when I see so much negative. I chose to keep going when so many have chosen to give up.

There is not a day that goes by that I don't say a prayer of thanks for the life I have now. That he has helped me overcome drugs, rape, depression, my many losses, and my suicidal thoughts. That I can do my own thing, that I no longer have to walk on eggshells, that I truly love myself now and am okay with being by myself rather than trying to please someone who will never be pleased. I am blessed to have peace and joy in my life, in my home, and in my heart.

It has taken many years to get here, many painful moments, I had to claw my way out of some holes. I got knocked down too many times to count but I am here, I kept getting back up, refusing to give up, to say, uncle. For that strength, I am also grateful, for my determination, for my beliefs, for my life all of it the good, the bad, and even the really ugly, I am grateful.

So today my friends I am telling you all of this because I am no different than any of you. There is no magic secret, I just believed, I fought and I refused to give up that's all it takes. You must learn to love yourself, know your worth, let go of what and who is not working for you. Figure out what you want, make a plan, and do it!

Don't make excuses, we all have them as I say all the time...insert your sob story here...think Nike..just do it.

Will it be easy? Come on, is anything in life worth having easy? No, it won't but it will be so worth it. When every day you wake up, at peace with joy and you too will be giving thanks for your life.