Don't I Deserve Love...?

LOVE - the most beautiful thing in the world. This four letter word is so hard to define and its the most profound emotion we experience. Because love takes on different forms, we love in our own way, which is why it is so complicated to describe about it. Love isn't finding someone you can live with, but someone you can't live without. And regardless it's simply a silly little four letter word that can mean so much more when given chance.

This is the story of a girl dreaming to become the love she was searching for.

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The moon's delicate light had just turned the world a flame with silver when Vida was walking gracefully in her wedding gown. She was stunningly gorgeous with twine-thin sculpted figure and decanter shaped waist. Her beguiling oyster-white teeth lit up the surroundings when she broke into a smile and a pair of arched eyebrows looked down on sweeping eyelashes. Filed to perfection, her venus-red fingernails ran through her nouyat-brown hair that flowed in waves to adorn her glowing, porcelain-like skin, while her languid eyelashes of velvet-black blinked once slowly, she gazed at him.

As she was stepping towards him, in a jerk, she had a sprain in her foot. Vida was scarcely able to stand. He took her in his arms without farther delay, and walked towards the bridal room carrying her like a baby, gently lowered her to the bed.

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"Ouch...!!!", she said sitting up.

Vida fell down from her bed. She had a wedding dream, dreaming about her dream boy. He is always in her dream, however, she can't identify him, she don't know who he is or how he look like.

"Oh...Shit...!!!!! I missed his face again", Vida groaned tapping her palm against her forehead.

"Vida.... did you wake up?", Jhansi shouted rushing to Vida's room.

Vida stood up with a sudden jolt and said, "yes Ma...".

"come on, make it fast, get ready...they are coming to see you", Jhansi said hurriedly. She grabbed Vida's blanket and began folding it quickly.

"Why Ma? Who is that coming to see me and why? And why are you in so a hurry?", Vida asked Jhansi out of the blue.

Jhansi glanced at Vida and said, "Rakesh and his family.....", organizing the room hastily.

"What? and who the hell is this Rakesh? and why would he see me?", Vida asked Jhansi wrinkling her brows and squinting her eyes.

Jhansi turned at Vida, let out a sigh of impatience and said, "We are planning for your marriage. Rakesh is your uncle's friend's son, nice family and we feel he will be the perfect match for you. He is software in Mumbai with good salary and trust me, Vida, you are just lucky.

Vida stood befuddled starring at her mom for a while and immediately she came out of it and said, "but why Ma? why so early? I just completed my graduation, I have my goals and dreams, I'm not ready for this now, I need some time".

Jhansi looked at Vida seriously and said, " enough Vida, we can't afford money anymore for your studies, its a good match for you, your life will be settled. You can even plan your career after marriage, if Rakesh and his family are okay with it. Now stop questioning me and get ready, its final...", Jhansi walked out of Vida's room to make arrangements for the guests.

In no time, Vida rushed to her father. He was busy with a phone call.

"it might be Rakesh's parents", Vida muttered.

She waited there till her father ended up the call. As soon as he finished the call, Vida went to her father and as she was about to speak to him....

"Vida..what your mom said is absolutely right and no further discussions about it", he said and insisted Vida to get ready soon.

Vida looked down sadly, walked slowly into her room. She sat on the bed, leant forward..."what the hell?", she groaned biting her nails thinking about it, she just felt helpless, took a deep sigh, walked into the bathroom to freshen up.

Vida is the eldest child of her parents, she have two younger brothers who are in abroad for higher studies. As a girl child she was never been loved truly by anyone in her family, she was always ignored in her family. She has been fascinated about the thought of being someone's love in future, she always dreamt that someday there will be a person for her who truly loves her and the person will be her husband.

Vida was finally ready. She was dressed up in pink colored saree, and her loose curls made her look elegant.

After sometime, Rakesh and his parents arrived. Vida's parents welcomed them and they were being honored by her family as per the custom. They were served with tea and some snacks.

Vida was peeping from her room, trying to find out Rakesh. She suddenly noticed her mother moving through her room, and immediately ran and sat on her bed.

Jhansi entered Vida's room, "Vida... let's go", she said. Vida followed her mom quitely. She was introduced to Rakesh and his parents, she was sitting there with fake smile and fake expressions. She was not at all interested to be there. While Vida stuck in a loop of thoughts, both families were discussing about wedding and about all other stuff. Her parents have already finalized Rakesh and it was just a formality to introduce her to their family.

That night Vida couldn't sleep, she was very confused and a nervous feel was literally filled at every part of her body. She called her brothers for help, but she got the same answer as received from her parents.

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The next day Rakesh came to Vida's home for a casual meet with her family.

"Uncle...can I take Vida out to dinner?", he asked her dad.

"yes...why not...have a good time", he replied with a smile and insisted Vida to go with him for the dinner. Vida was not at all interested to go out with him but she had no choice.

First Rakesh took her to the temple, then they went for dinner. Vida spent the whole day with Rakesh, the way he asked her dad to take her out for dinner and the way he received her, took care of her in each and every thing, made Vida to think about him. She started to think positively about Rakesh.

"why can't Rakesh be my dream boy", she thought.

While she was been in this confusion and she was still not sure about him, they both got married.

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Vida entered Rakesh's house with all new hopes, she thought her life was going to change and it will be better. She started dreaming her life with him.

It was their wedding night, Vida looked stunningly beautiful in her wedding dress. She sat on the bed nervously.

After few minutes, Rakesh entered the room, Vida groggily stood up wringing her hands. He stepped towards her, and as she looked up, she saw him standing in front of her. Suddenly, she noticed his hand on her shoulder, she felt a bit uncomfortable, but she liked it. Rakesh glarred over at Vida, that made her cheeks grow red. She smiled sweetly at him, her eyes was sparkling like stars flaunted on the night sky. His arms went around her waist, moved her close to him. He then hugged her tightly and then as their eyes met they felt each others heartbeat. They both lay beside having long breaths he just came above her, clutched his hands in her, kissed her. She was not sure whether he loved her but at the moment she felt like she was literally in heaven.

The next day morning Vida woke up, she was blushing thinking of their last night adventures and at the moment she too was not fully in love with him but she started to feel love for him, she was impressed with the way he handled her with care last night, and she started to love him.

Days passed, they were happy like every newly married couple, they enjoyed each other's company. Every day was like the first day of their marriage. With days passed, Vida was in love with Rakesh, now he was the man in her dreams, the dream boy who always there in her dreams, now she started to see Rakesh in her dream. She thought that he too had the same feelings on her which she felt for him.

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Six months passed enjoying their newly married life. It was Vida's birthday, she was waiting for Rakesh's wishes and was excited as it was her first birthday with him. But, he went to office as usual. Vida thought he might have forgot because of his busy schedule. That day she planned a surprise dinner for him, she decorated the house romantically, dressed up elegantly, and was waiting for him.

It was 10:00 pm, but still Rakesh didn't reach home. Vida made a phone call to him but her call was rejected, she thought he might be busy with work.

It was 11:30 pm, Rakesh rang the doorbell. Vida woke up in a jolt and opened the door with excitement. The moment she opened the door, she stood in shock, she couldn't believe her eyes, Rakesh was leaning on the door, he fell on her, he was fully drunk.

"Are you drunk?", Vida muttered in shock.

But he was not in a position to answer her. He was literally falling down drunk. Suddenly, his mobile rang, while he tried to receive the call, it fell down.

Vida made him to lay on the sofa and received the call, it was from Nisha...his colleague... "hey.. thank you...we had a very good time, I will be waiting for our next meet...bye sweetheart...", said Nisha and ended up the call.

Vida's eyes opened wide, she couldn't believe it, she was totally distressed, her dreams bursted like a bubble.

Next day Vida asked about Nisha, he said, "come on Vida, it's common, don't think too much and please stop all this non-sense, this is real me. Get lost from my way, i have a night party with Nisha", he said impatiently and walked away from there.

Day by day, her life became wrapped in a crown of thorns. He began to boss her around. He wanted her to cut off from everyone, he wanted to know 24hours where she will be and what she does. He mentally tried to control her and often talks to her in an aggressive rude manner. 

"Rakesh why are you behaving like this? don't you love me? Vida asked welling up her eyes. But he just ignored her and walked away.

Her love for him shattered into pieces. Everything inside her wants to scream and yell to the entire world.

Months passed, Vida came to know that she was pregnant, it is the happiest moment for every woman, but for her, it was not so.

She went to him and said, "Rakesh... I'm pregnant...you are going to be father....we are going to be parents", she said with utmost excitement, but he didn't care about it.

Daily he came home drunk, falling down drunk and he was always busy with his girlfriends.

"Don't I deserve love??? Why it is not meant for me??", Vida cried out.

She wept daily, her life became like hell, sadness overwhelmed her so completely. All the nine months of her pregnancy passed away trying to change Rakesh, expecting his love and care for her which he showered in the beginning. He never cared about her health, she wept all the nights. Sometimes, she thought, may be this was not the right time for her baby, but she couldn't decide, she don't want to loose her baby.

A few days later, on one day Vida woke up at about 2 am with chronic stomach cramps, she was overwhelmed with waves of pain and panic. She tried waking up Rakesh but, he was not in a position to respond to her.

She was admitted to the hospital by her parents. She gave birth to a baby boy. Tears rolled out of her eyes when the doctor gave the baby into her hands. With the soft touch of the baby, Vida felt like she was on cloud nine. At that moment, she understood what is love and she fell deeply in love with her baby, she felt like she was the happiest person in the world.

For the first time in her life, she felt like she is being truly loved by someone and that is her baby. She felt like this was the love she searched for all the time in her life.

"Yes...I too deserve love...", she whispered and kissed the baby with tears rolling down her cheeks.

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