Decision First - Result Next

‘Tharani Aids Foundation’ – The name board was glittering in golden letters.

It was Chief Doctor Tharani’s room. A heavy shock prevailed up on the face of the Chief Doctor Tharani! In his ‘always peaceful’ face a sorrowful look was spreading. He had a letter in his hands. It was Nurse Meena’s Resignation Letter.

Meena! A twenty five year old mother of the AIDS patients’ of that centre. Advanced stage aids patients are like her children. Giving bath – cutting nails – changing dress and administering the medicines packed with her pure love are her commitments. Her encouragement and support extended the life span of many patients.

Doctor Tharani broke the silence by saying ‘Marriage is a good phase of life. But., for that., why should you leave your job?’

‘The groom side has strictly told to leave the job doctor..’ the words floated from her mouth like feathers and flew in the air.

‘Oh.. Is it that they are affluent and hence they think that you need not go to job!’

‘No doctor.. They say that I should not work in this Aids Centre.. They want me to join some other hospital.. in some other department…’

‘What nonsense..’

The Chief’s voice rose up. Meena’s eyes tilted down.

‘Not only that Doctor.. Since I am serving in this aids Centre for a long time..’

‘Since you are serving for a long time in this aids centre…..?’

‘They want me to undergo a full medical examination and confirm that I am not suffering from aids’ – Meena’s voice shrunk.

‘Idiotic! See Meena… nowadays in TV, Radio, News Papers and wherever you turn, they are broadcasting. Just by supporting and helping the aids patients no one will get aids.. Don’t they see all those ads..’

‘I told Doctor.. – But they say – “All are true.. But to be on safer side, what is wrong in having a checkup”

‘Ridiculous…! What did you tell them for this..?’

‘Even my parents are not hearing what I say doctor. They say: “As long as you are working in an aids centre, this will be a persistent problem. If it prolongs like this, there will be a point when you may not get married at all. You may not get such a groom and a good family again. So take a test and provide the results to them as per their demand’

Some seconds passed through Meena’s sob.

‘Look Meena.. This is not a Cinema or Drama or A Story – it is your life. I won’t tell you to sacrifice your marriage life and serve to patients. But.. there is no justification in what they claim’

Meena continued her cry silently.

Afterwards Meena underwent all tests and it was medically confirmed that Meena did not have aids.

GANESAN-MEENA marriage went on smoothly.

Two months went on. A courtesy visit to the Aids Centre was made by Meena along with her husband Ganesan.

But Ganesan expressed his disliking in his face. Meena alone visited various sections and met her subordinates.

Ganesan simply sat in the room of the Chief Doctor Tharani. He did not move out of that room.

Even though Doctor Tharani was very angry, for the sake of courtesy he just enquired Ganesan about his wellbeing.

Then suddenly the doctor stared at Ganesan and asked ‘Why did you ask Meena to leave this job?’

Bewildered by the Doctor’s question, Ganesan took a few seconds and told Doctor, ‘that is… sorry doctor.. Let me be frank. When there is a problem for us in a place, is it not wiser to move away from that place..?’

‘No Ganesan. Absolutely there is no such problem. Medically speaking, AIDS spreads through improper physical contacts without safety precautions. If one of the partners have AIDS it may spread to the other also. And if the blood of an AIDS patient is transfused into a normal person it can spread. Using the same injection needle used with an AIDS patient, to the other normal person may also..’

‘Sorry Doctor ‘ Ganesan interrupted and said ‘I didn’t want to take a chance’

‘Look Mr. Ganesan. There are Seventy Eight persons working in this centre. Apart from that, for honourary services, of and on, many people are coming and going. Among these seventy eight staff, sixty people are working in this centre for more than ten years. But, so far, no one was attacked by AIDS..’

‘Sorry doctor. I cannot take risk in my wife’s case..’

The discussion was interrupted by Meena’s entry. 

‘Shall we go Meena..?’ Ganesan stood up.

As days and months passed, nothing specific happened.

‘Fate’, ‘Destiny’, ‘Time’ are a few among the frequently used words when something unexpected happens. We do not know, if actually something called ‘FATE’ exists. But sometimes, the truths are stranger than fictions.

One day, all of a sudden, Meena and Ganesan entered into Dr. Tharni’s room.

Ganesan was very much upset. His face was pale and yellow.

Meena, with tears in her eyes, started saying, ‘Doctor.. about ten days before, my husband suddenly fell down and had something like fits. Immediately I took him to Dr. Prabu. He did a lot of tests and examined. Now, he suspects HIV positive for him.

‘What? What do you say..’ Doctor Tharani.

‘Yes Doctor.. Dr. Prabu suggested to consult you immediately and to have a full checkup’

Doctor held Ganesan affectionately and made him to sit comfortably. He saw all reports brought by Meena. Then he turned to Ganesan.

‘mm.. Ganesan.. would you like to have some tea’

‘Yes doctor. I will have’

Tea came. All the three took tea in the heap of silence.

In the presence of Meena, Doctor Tharani started talking to Ganesan.

‘Ganesan please be relaxed. Now, let us reminiscent the past. Don’t get annoyed. OK?’

‘OK doctor’

‘Well. For the questions I am raising now, you deeply think and answer. OK?’

‘OK doctor’

‘And tell the Truth and Truth only’

‘Sure Doctor’

The doctor raised a lot of questions related to the suspected disease. Some of them related to his physical symptoms and sufferings. Some of them related to his past and present behavior.

His questions also included the following:

‘Well Ganesan.. before marriage.. any prejudicial contacts with any..’

‘No Doctor.. Absolutely not.. ’

‘Can I take it for sure..’

‘One hundred percent you can take it for sure doctor..’

‘Oh..Thats very nice..’

‘Well. Did you have any injection recently.’

‘That is, not in the near past doctor’

‘Good. When did you have your last injection?’

‘I remember that it is about six months before..’

‘For What?’

‘I was suffering from fever at that time.’

‘At any point of time in the past, did you fall down, and had injuries?’

‘About two years before anl accident happened when I went in bike. There was a small injury on my forehead’

‘At that time did you have any blood transfusion?’

‘Yes doctor.. I had a blood transfusion.. ‘

‘Where?’

Ganesan named the hospital.

The doctor saw Ganesan sharply and asked, ‘Ganesan. Please don’t mistake. Before marriage, you directed your wife Meena for an HIV examination. But, didn’t you think, that you also should have taken that test and proved yourself?’

Ganesan did not have any answer for this question, except, to bend down his head.

After a small pause, doctor got up saying, ‘ Any way! Don’t worry. Let us hope for the best. Let us go for the procedures involving the tests and examinations and see.’

Although utmost secrecy was maintained, the matter spread upto the near and dear relatives and friends of Ganesan and Meena.

Ganesan had a feeling that even his father and mother themselves could not console him in any way. As and when they saw him they were simply crying.

 

His own brother, who used to share Ganesan’s socks, shirts etc., freely, without any reservation, was totally avoiding it now.

 

His sister, who visited the house, secretly expressed to his mother, that her husband talks very low of Ganesan. She did not even give a courtesy look on Ganesan. This gave him an unbearable mental agony.

His friend, who used to be his flush and nail in his life, and who used to call him on phone multiple times in a day, was seen nowhere and heard never.

Ganesan could not dare, even to think of visiting his in-laws house.

His heart broke to see that whenever he eats, the same plate was used to serve.

The maid servant stopped coming. It appeared that, to avoid washing his clothes, she would have stopped coming.

He thought that, it is as good as or as bad as he stopped Meena from going for the job in the AIDS Centre.

He also thought that, If at all he had AIDS, then, Meena, who lived with conjugal relationship with him, may also …. Oh God.. God..

         

Even in this unconfirmed stage of this disease in him, he felt that he is unpropertied – destituted - lonely – orphaned – deprived by this society.

If so, how painful will the mental stress and agony of lakhs and lakhs of AIDS CONFIRMED patients around the world,

How cruel he was, to detach the Motherly Affectionated Meena, from such suffering patients?

At that point of time, the only consolation he had was Meena. But he felt guilty and ashamed to see her, face to face.

At around two o’ clock in the midnight, he was crying. Meena tried to console him by her supportive touches. He buried his face on the laps of Meena and sobbed like a child. From the bottom of his stomach, he burst out. Meena, who was used to consoling of crying patients, could not control or console Ganesan. The more she consoled the more he burst out. As a wife, she also could not control herself but to join him and cry.

He cried and cried and cried. He felt that, the crying itself gave peace to him. That peace itself induced more and more crying. In this process his mental pressure started coming down. The darkness of his mind started diminishing and his mind enlightened.

When it was dawn, he has come to a conclusion!

It was morning ten o’ clock. Ganesan and Meena were sitting in the Chief Doctor Tharani’s room. The doctor entered and took his seat. In a few minutes the result of the tests made will be known.

But, before that, Ganesan started talking in a humble but clear voice.

‘Doctor I would like to say something…’

‘Yes.. tell’

‘Doctor.. before you declare the result of the tests, I would like to convey my decision – rather a request - to you. I humbly request that you must accept my decisions and help me to implement them. Just to emphasize that my decisions are independent of the result you are going to declare, I request you to allow me to talk first.’

‘ mm.. Go ahead’

‘’Doctor it is my request that you must take back Meena into the service of this Aids centre! Her sacred services must be dedicated to the world of AIDS patients. The unsupportive – frustrated – longing for love - patients must not loose her affectionate services any more.’

‘Doctor my next request to you is, to accept me as a dedicated devotee of this centre and serve the suffering people to eradicate or at least to reduce their mental agony and distress. I will meet the relatives and friends and the society around the affected patients – explain them about the mental torture and pain I came across due to lack of love and support of the people around me. You must give me an opportunity to be an agent of change in the mindset of the people around the patient. Kindly accept my request doctor’

The Chief Doctor Tharani, with full heart, accepted the requests - rather the decisions of Ganesan.

Then, the Chief Doctor Tharani started declaring the result of the tests.

Pin Drop Silence Prevailed Upon Everywhere!