Collateral Damage

 1

 

-       "I'll tell you the first time it happened. My mom was in a bad mood that day. I think she was washing the dishes in the kitchen sink and grumbling to herself when I went up to her for the fourth time. She had helped me with that math problem three times already that morning. She snapped at me. Understandably. But I felt wronged."

-       "What happened?"

-       "She cut her lip in a freak accident that same day. I think she was trying to reach for a stack of books high up on the bookshelf…"

-       "Could it have been a coincidence?"

-       "You really think so? Even after all the other stories I have told you?"

-       "Okay. Umm… so does it only happen to people who are close to you or can you make it happen to strangers as well?"

-       "Wow! That somehow makes it real – hearing you say it – I am making these things happen."

-       "Look, I am not saying that. Not yet at least. It was just a manner of speaking. But go on … tell me … has it ever happened to strangers?"

-       "I mean… it did happen to a bus conductor once. I told him to let me know when my stop arrived. He didn't take it very seriously I suppose. I was mad. I was already having a bad day…"

-       "So?"

-       "So, I cursed him. Like, actually said it out loud. I got down two stops later than I should have and I screamed after him as the bus sped away. I wished for him to have as awful a day as I had been having."

-       "Did he?"

-       "He had worse. The bus got caught in the middle of a protest and the mob set fire to it. No one was injured. But it sure as hell must have been a bad day for the conductor, right?"

-       "But you didn't wish for that much, did you? Maybe that didn't happen because of you."

-       "Maybe. But then I don't feel like I can control all of it. So, no reason I should be responsible for the degree of the repercussion."

-       "What do you mean?"

-       "Well, take for example, the time when my music teacher told my parents that I should pursue some other hobby. I had my heart set on playing the piano. I wasn't totally rubbish at it either. But he kept comparing me with his best student..."

-       "Maybe he expected better of you."

-       "Maybe. I didn't think of it that way though. I held a grudge for the longest time. Until I saw this viral post on social media. It was written by his best student, exposing him for months of abuse."

-       "That definitely sounds like the result of his own actions towards his other student. Not the result of anything he did to you. He didn't do it to you too, did he?"

-       "No. He didn't. That other girl could have never come out with it. But she did."

-       "How was it not in your control then?"

-       "I wouldn't have chosen this kind of a punishment for him if I could influence it. I didn't really have anything against that other girl. Wouldn't have wanted her to be collateral damage."

-       "Maybe you resented her too? Jealousy maybe?"

-       "You're right! I didn't think of that!"

-       "Goodness! You sound delighted! You just lit up at that thought!"

-       "What? No! I think the moonlight is playing tricks on your eyes."

-       "Did you let go of your grudge after that?"

-       "I did. I felt like he paid for the hurt he caused me."

-       "That's a little selfish, don't you think? This was about the things that other student faced!"

-       "Yeah. Probably. But what part of this isn't selfish? It's all been about me and every time that I have felt that I have been treated unfairly."

-       "You think there are others like you?"

-       "I haven't met anyone like me. But there could be."

-       "Okay, so what's the story today? I feel like you've been building up to this moment..."

-       "See that guy lying over there? The one in the red shirt?"

-       "The one that had his skull split open or the one that's pinned to the driver's seat with the end of the handrail?"

-       "The second one. He was my ex."

-       "Don't tell me -- he ill-treated you somehow and that's why he had to die, impaled by a hand-rail, in this bus accident today?"

-       "Something like that!"

-       "Oh! Don't smirk! You do realize what you are saying?"

-       "That my vengeance caused the bus accident?"

-       "Aren't you? And I thought you didn't want 'collateral damage'!"

-       "As I said -- I can't control all of it. It's like lady Karma takes note of my grievances while planning the destiny of some people. But on the whole, it is Her decision -- you know -- how She wants to execute the scenario."

-       "So why did She decide to kill all these other people?"

-       "I don't know! Maybe they deserved it!"

-       "I don't think I want to listen to your bullshit anymore!"

-       "Well, it's either my bullshit or the silence of this cold, desolate night as we wait for rescue workers to arrive. I don't think there are any other survivors except us."

-       "You know what? I thought I'd give you time to figure it out on your own --- cushion the shock a bit. But I don't feel like I like you enough to do that anymore."

-       "What are you talking about?"

-       "Put your hand on the nape of your neck. A little more to the side. Yes, there. Feel that blade lodged halfway through? It was a part of the tiny fan above the corner of the window. Still think you survived?"

-       "What? NO! NO! What are you saying? I don't feel any pain! Maybe it spared my vital veins…I'm alive! Aren't I? What are you talking about…"

2

 

 

-       "No wonder I haven't felt hungry or thirsty in a while!"

 

-       "Took you long enough to notice!"

 

-       "How long has it been?"

-       "6 hours since the bus crash. 2 hours since I told you that you were dead."

-       "OH! MAN! WHY ARE ALL OF THEM STIRRING?"

-       "Yeah -- now that you're aware that you're dead -- you should be able to see the others move like I am seeing you."

-       "You too?"

-       "A long time ago. I wasn't on this bus. But I did jump from the same bridge that your bus fell off from. I realized that you were still in shock and thought I'd let you down easy. I myself had wandered about for weeks before I had realized that I had passed away. There was no one around to tell me. I didn't know who you were when I started talking to you."

-       "Thanks, I guess! What do you mean you didn't know who I was?"

-       "I didn't know you were one of the other students that my music teacher had. So many times I had thought about calling all of you and warning you about him! Just couldn't bring myself to do it!"

-       "YOU'RE SHE?"

-       "Yup! Killed myself soon after writing that viral post. Couldn't deal with all the questions on my 'character' that followed."

-       "I don't know what to say! I... I ... I didn't mean all that stuff I said about collateral damage…"

-       "Yeah, right! Um…hey! Your phone's ringing!"

-       "What? Oh! Will I be able to answer it?"

-       "I don't think so. Who's calling?"

-       "My daughter! She doesn't even know…Oh God! I didn't even get to hug her one last time! We had the worst fight about summer camp this morning! I didn't want her to go there…"

-       "You think she held a grudge against you because of it?"

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