CHRISTMAS EVE

 I was thinking of doing something special today, not for anyone but for myself. After many years I was thinking about spending this whole evening with myself. I went to the kitchen and I started making cake. I collected all the ingredients and started reading the recipes. Then I found the one I wanna Cook today. Strawberry cake. Yes, that's what I wanted to cook for myself. On low steam I started mixing the cake batter. Slowly slowly as I started I am feeling the fragrance of that new mature flower. A smile came on my face. On an old cassette player I played a fantasy song. It was an old song but I remember the lyrics. Because I used to listen to that song whenever I feel lost in my own mood. When the song reached the last stanza I also reached the baking step. I mean cake baking. I poured some red wine in the tumbler. I am feeling suffocating so I decided to first change my clothes. I wore that peach colored dress. I wear this last when I cry for three hours without even knowing who I am. So today I wore this dress once again to make myself aware of who I am. Wearing the pair of earrings which were broken like my inner soul. I laughed a lot. But I must wear them today. To know how beautiful a broken art piece looks. After the whole makeover I came down to the drawing room. I looked into the mirror and I said yes yes that's you. I take a sip of red wine. And on the old cassette a new rhythm and new lyrics were coming. Oh yes again I fell in love with rhythm and with the last bite of strawberry cake I took the last sip too. And this Christmas Eve makes me feel strange. And it's a chance to know more about me. Lyrics were like medicine to me today. Rhythm of that music is like the most comfortable couch for me.