A Mistake!

Emptiness..THE IMMENSE pleasure where one can completely discover oneself. A phase where you want to only regret to intensity. A time when your heart completely becomes a void and demands love, to be the only element to be filled in. It's been said and done that the one who commits a mistake is a greater sufferer comparing to the one who has gone through the mistake!!, but only if mistaker regrets otherwise everything is pointless.......... 

REGRET....the pain only the stronger can carry within...its that effort which completely sucks your guilt and make you worthy of an apology...

The first day of the new session, she was a new student, prettier then the creed, the best I ever saw and the most beautiful among all. Last year of the college it was !..I was the the stud of the college....

I was the creep of the college..the stud..and rich spoilt guy. One woman at a time person. Feelings...were nothing..just a toy to play for me... love sentences, confessions were just hackneyed phases for me.....and here she comes..my number 15,....Rashika!! The first day of the college she was all confused about the stuff..I I went to her but intentionally in order to manipulate my impression to her. I kept on helping her and she slowly started to fall for me.she was actually different from other girls..never created drama..never asked for gifts...talked softly and actually was 'real' not fake....and i wont deny she was the best I ever met.

Slowly and gradually I started to realize that I am no more the same person I was...the true fact that I was changing,not ”because” of her may be “for” her...i was happy...with her.. Enjoyed her company and then I decided to make a proposal to her as a month passed away of our friendship. She used to live in a hostel, I asked her for a day out... she agreed.........we watched movies and spent my most beautiful day with her...the divine beauty she was!and the most lovely creature on earth..I took her to the terrace of my house.. it was all black..I decorated it with pink lights and cozy candles... I went on my knees, proposed her..I quoted the values which were as follows “so..my princess here am I, your slave...wanna make you mine for my last day..baby till the end I wanna pamper you sweetheart..wanna take care and seriously no lies I wanna grow old with you...so miss Rashikatripathi will you be mine?? “

She was in tears.... I stood up, she hugged me so tight that all my broken vulgar pieces came together and formed a true me! I realized that this (me) stud boy seriously fell in love with someone...she whispered in my ears “yes!!”i hugged her back even tighter...kissed her forehead...her left cheek and then her pink glossy lips...those were so soft, I felt so much for her...I wanted her to be all mine..and from here the story begins.............

Next morning was a brighter day ahead for me! I went to the college and met rashika.. she asked for a secret relationship to which I agreed. I met my friend told them everything and the dirtiest chapter of my life started..my friends started to poke me..and tried to bring out the stud in me I never felt Rashikaas a target but my friends understood her so...they filled their words so much in me and the feeling of peer pressure evoked so much deep dense inside that I decide to plan my next target. Such a creep I was.. a new girl came in our college “shona”, the hot bomb of college... I ignored Rashika and went with Shona..

I had Rashika on my mind but still I porposed her and came into a relationship with shona too! just in order to prove myself as a stud to my friends!  

I was on terrace with Shona.. it was rashika’s birthday which I forgot...she was upset. She came home...came on the terrace and found shona in my arms...she stood still..... tears roll over her cheeks..by a look I saw her, stood up...and moved towards her in order to justify....she back stepped and uttered “this was the best birthday gift ever ”..and left, I fell down, she left my life and tears on my part and I realized that she was my prize possession...my special lady!.....

As it's been said and done that, we get the value of people when it's actually late! When we lose them...i realized that I loved only that girl “rashika” with all my might and heart...guilt, it made me so intense that I never even tried to, love again... today, she is happy with her guy....and eventually, I am happy for her.

Life gradually taught me ***“zindgi se kheloge,toh zindgi tumhe khel bana degi”***. Loneliness made me realize the importance of love...it is not a toy to play..it makes life live...the water wet and the sun, shine....today I am left alone nothing but regret and guilt left in my life! I lost everything in order to gain fake pride. She was my life..my special lady..of all the girls I ever met..she was the best and she will be the best!. Sometimes having the reality in front we don’t correct ourselves self and at last we are left with no marginal return..neither increasing nor diminishing.

She lost a fake boy..I lost the most wonderful girl....who is at the loss?? I guess “me”! But life never stopped like the way..it goes on and on and my number “15” became my “last”...her absence made me what I really wanted to be in her presence.....

After two years......I met a girl...so talkative...so light and happy living and deeply felt for her..i seriously dont know if its love or something else but I can spend nights talking with her... she’s my friend but never accepted my proposal...and hence I am happy in continuing with her as same.....and got the idea that “ few bad example can’t change the reality” as dont make yourself kill..if its meant to be...it will!!.............