A Matter Of Pride

It had been months since her best-kept secret was out. But the whispers still were rife along the corridors. They seemed to gain momentum when she was walking down them. It did not matter that she wore scrubs, had a stethoscope around her neck, had an MD against her name and was the best neurosurgeon in the hospital, nay the entire city. All her accolades and achievements seemed to have been overshadowed by this one secret that she had been more than relieved to reveal to the world. She had finally gotten tired of carrying on the charade for the mere sake of belonging to a society that she didn’t really feel a part of anymore. 

It had not been easy for her to take this decision. More than the world, it had been tough to reveal it to Ravi, her husband of half a decade. He was the best man that she had ever met, in every aspect. He had wooed her for well over a couple of years, persistent in his affections till he finally won her over. And true to the promises that he had made on the day he proposed to her, their marriage had indeed been her 'happily forever after. So it was not easy for her to open up to him. She spent many a nights tossing and turning on the bed and pacing about in the living room. She surfed the internet incessantly for the best approach to take to break it to him. Most of them ended with the warning that the response of the partner might not be as expected and that they should be prepared for any eventuality. 

It had been a languid evening when they were casually having a conversation on the balcony. To date, she couldn’t really put a finger on it as to whether it was the flow of the conversation or the calm setting of the twilight but she had instinctively felt that it was time. When she had finally told him, he had fallen silent…for so long that she had almost felt a constriction begin to appear in her throat and she could feel a panic attack setting in. Gathering up every iota of courage that she had left in her, she forced out the words through her now non-compliant lips, “ If you are upset, it is natural. If you feel cheated, I understand. But I want you to know that it wasn't intentional. I myself really understood that aspect of me only recently. And I know it is a part of being who I am…despite everything, there is no denying the fact that I am Bi and that I like girls too”. 

He had finally looked at her and what followed next reminded her of the unpredictable eventuality the websites had warned her about. He looked at her face for a while, his eyes searching hers. "Say something, anything" she begged him in her mind. He was still looking at her when he said, “That’s great! I like girls too….especially this one here going blue in the face holding her breath” and leant over and kissed her with as much love as he did earlier. It all came rushing out of her as she felt she could finally exhale. She had never cried harder or felt lighter. She now understood the meaning of true love. It wasn’t about being the world’s definition of a perfect couple, but all about being perfectly imperfect together. Later on, it was he who helped her come out to her parents and friends and stood by her as a strong wall when the rest of the world seemed to be collapsing around her. 

She wasn’t sure about what lay ahead for them, but his support had made her realise that everyone - queer or not - has the right to thrive in complete acceptance of themselves, for who they truly are. Life was not about conforming to others’ concepts of rights and wrongs but about being true to yourself and being fearlessly happy. And that it was time the society acknowledged the true worth of people based on who they were and what they could do, instead of who they preferred doing it with. 

Her worst nightmare was overcome when once at a family get-together, as everyone sat down to dinner, one of his cousins out of the blue asked Ravi “ Your wife is a Bisexual?” As a sudden awkward silence descended on the dinner table with people not knowing where to look or what to do with the crockery they held in their hands, she could feel the cold beginning to gnaw its way from her feet upwards. “No, she is a neurosurgeon, and a bloody good one at that” he had replied looking at her across the table with unshakeable pride. 

After all, it was a matter of pride indeed.