A Fruitful Struggle…

‘ Krithi, come down fast, you’re getting late. Have your breakfast. Your cab will come anytime now.’

Krithi runs down the stairs, takes a bite on the crisp and buttered toast and runs towards the gate where the cab was waiting, honking away, much to the neighbour's displeasure.

This was an everyday affair at the Kashyap household. The chaos and the morning rush by every member of the household were like a ritual without which the morning didn’t seem to pass by.

Mrs Geetha Kashyap was a banker. She had two children, Krithi and Kiran. They were children from her first marriage that ended up in her husband passing away due to a severe cardiac arrest at a young age of 37. The kids were quite small back then. Geetha had shouldered all the responsibilities of work, kids and home when one day she realised she could not take it any longer and was feeling lonely and needed a company so that she could pull along through the remaining years of her life with a partner.

Mr Subhash was an unmarried businessman who used to frequent her bank for transaction-related matters. Geetha and he got along well and one day he proposed to her, knowing well about her background and the kids that came along with their marriage. As he did not have much people in his family to consult and had been a loner himself all through his life he went ahead with the marriage plans and they had a quiet marriage at the registrar’s office with some close friends from both their sides as witnesses.

At first, the children found it difficult to accept him as their father or rather their mother’s partner as they always thought she was a strong woman and she wouldn’t need anyone in her life after their father’s demise but gradually things went quite smoothly and they all became one family.

Years flew by. The kids got into jobs and were quite responsible on their own. Geetha felt relaxed as she was nearing retirement in a couple of years and subash’s business too was going steady with good turnovers. In all, everything looked like a pretty picture.

One evening when Geetha was heading home after work she noticed a young lady walking around their housing colony as though enquiring about someone as the lady seemed to be having a piece of paper in her hand. She walked towards Geetha and asked her if she knew the address of the person mentioned in the paper. Geetha glanced through the paper and was surprised to see her home address and Subhash's name mentioned as the ‘person’. She told the lady that it was her address that was mentioned in the paper and invited her home for tea and talks as Geetha thought it was some business-related enquiry.

However, they both walked towards home and Geetha quickly changed her clothes and made tea for the young lady and herself. The young lady seemed very coy and hesitant. She repeatedly enquired about Subhash and asked when would he be back from work.

Geetha informed her that he was out of town due to urgent business matters and would return only after some days. Geetha sensed restlessness in the young lady and asked her if everything was okay and enquired about her name so that she could inform Subhash about her visit and if need be to contact her in case of business matters.

Just then the young lady introduced herself as ‘Nithya’ and quite hesitantly said she was Subhash's daughter. Geetha was taken aback, confused and told her not to make such cheap jokes or statements. Nithya told her that she was the illegitimate child of Mr Subhash and Mrs Chitra and how she had to live with this trauma of being a fatherless child and whenever she inquired about her father, how her mother had always dodged that question until she could no longer hold on or find excuses not to tell her about him. She said her mother passed away 2 years backhanding over some photographs that her mother and Subhash had clicked together many years back. Her mother had kept all that safely with her thinking she would reveal and tell Nithya all the facts once she reached a mature age. Chitra had died of cancer. Nithya showed the photographs of her mother Chitra and Subhash together during their younger days. Geetha couldn’t deny any of this. It was Subhash in all of those pictures.

Geetha just sank into the sofa and started thinking how her whole world of a ‘perfect’ family was shattered by this one girl who came in from nowhere and claimed Subhash to be her father. Geetha accused Nithya of blackmailing and asked her as to how she got the address. Nithya said one day she saw Subhash's photograph in the newspaper. It was an advertisement related to some sale of the property and his contact details were provided at the end of the advertisement. Just then Geetha remembered Subhash telling her of an office he was selling off and for that which he had put an ad in the newspapers.

Geetha was not in her right frame of mind and told Nithya to leave the house and never to come back again.

Nithya apologized for ‘spoiling’ their so-called paradise and she did not intend to create any ruckus but instead, she just wanted to meet Subhash once as she was leaving to Norway as she had acquired a job there and was planning to settle there and was not intending to come back ever in their lives.

As she was about to leave she left behind her number in that piece of paper and left without saying any word. Geetha stood there watching her go. She started feeling strange, weird, angry, numb and also a strange motherly instinct for Nithya as Geetha too had a daughter of almost Nithya's age. Geetha thought for a second as to how Nithya and her mother had to live all their life without the man who was responsible for bringing Nithya into this world, the humiliation they must have faced, the taunts of the society rendering them husbandless and fatherless. She felt for a second that Chitra was a stronger woman to bring Nithya up all by herself facing all hardships and being denied the basic financial rights that a man needed to provide to his wife and child.

Many questions engulfed Geetha. How was she going to confront Subhash on this matter, what would be his reaction to this, how would the children react, will their world split apart, will she and the children develop a sense of hatred for him though she knew he was a good man by heart but then what made him hide this from her for so many years, was he not aware of this illegitimate child, what was his reason for not accepting his child and Chitra. All these and more doubts were driving her insane.

Just then she glanced over the paper and saw Nithya's number. She thought whether to tear and throw it and forget everything as to what just happened but would her conscience allow her to do that?!

Geetha was disturbed and decided to take a week-long leave to think over this matter and also she hadn’t taken a break for quite some time now. Subhash would call daily and enquire about everyone and how he was missing home and Geetha would feel a lump in her throat to ask him about this matter. Every day he would call, they would talk and bid bye to each other and everyday Geetha avoided talking about this issue.

Subhash called up as usual and informed he would be reaching home the next day. Geetha had to confront him somehow regarding this matter as she needed to know the truth.

Next day Subhash arrived by the morning flight and he decided to take the day off as his visit was hectic and he needed rest and some time with Geetha. The children were travelling too with respect to their jobs so Geetha thought this was the best time and situation to ask him everything regarding this issue.

After lunch, when they were relaxing she brought up this topic and told him about Nithya’s visit and the number that she had left behind. At first, Subhash was thinking hard to find out who Nithya was as he didn’t recall any business dealings with her or anyone by that name. When Geetha further told him about Nithya being his daughter and Chitra, her mother, Subhash went back memory lane to a good 24 years back!

Yes… He remembered Chitra, his love, in fact, his lost love! He was numb, he felt a lump in his throat, he felt overwhelmed and his eyes filled up with tears. He looked at Geetha and confidently told her about his past love, Chitra. He said Chitra was his college mate and they had fallen in love back then and dreamt of being married and living life together. They became close and reached a point where they couldn’t live without each other and that leads to physical sex. They were young and in love. The news of their affair reached their respective homes and all hell broke loose. Chitra’s parents disagreed to their relationship and she was sent away to a relative’s place and Subhash had no clue or any means to contact her or know anything about her. When he visited her house one day after her non-attendance to college he was subjected to insults and anger by her father and he was asked to keep away from his daughter. Subhash had no idea what to do, how to contact her or know anything about her as they had no common friends between them who knew anything about her whereabouts.

He waited for months for some news from her or about her but nothing really happened on that front and he was losing all hope day by day. And one fine day he accepted the fact that Chitra was forever gone from his life and he couldn’t do anything about it. He cried like a helpless man for his lost love. It took many months and years to get over Chitra. He had decided he would never marry and he abided by that for many years but when he saw Geetha, something in him made him change his mind and he wanted to experience peace and wade away the loneliness that was eating him slowly.

Geetha, after having stayed with him for a long part of her life believed every word of his and just hugged him without asking a single question thereafter or doubting his loyalty towards her. She was surprised at herself as to why wasn’t she getting upset with Subhash's action, why wasn’t she feeling humiliated. Such was their bonding.

Subhash was ecstatic when he knew Chitra gave birth to ‘their’ love child and he also felt guilty that he could not be there with her and all the struggles she would have faced from society for being alone, for being a single mother and for being pregnant without being married and he is the cause of all this. He wanted to meet Nithya, his child. He wanted to make up for all the love denied to her all these years. Geetha sensed his undying love for ‘his’ child. His excitement knew no bounds but at the same time, he was very worried as to how would Nithya respond. Would she hate him for being brought up and called a fatherless child all her growing up years? would she ridicule him and call him a coward for never trying to find out or contact them and accept them all these years? Would she call him ‘father’? All these questions were making him nervous.

Geetha picked up her mobile and dialled Nithya’s number.

Nithya: Hello

Geetha: Hello, Geetha here. Subhash just reached today morning. I have told him about your visit and he wishes to talk to you.

Nithya: Ok. * Nervous..and heavy breathing*

Geetha hands over the mobile to Subhash.

Subhash: Hhello.. * choking on his own voice*

Nithya: hello...

Subhash: I… I don’t know what to say…

Nithya: * silence *

Subhash: Hello, are you there?

Nithya: Yes

Subhash: I want to see you. I… I can’t talk on the phone. I.. i.. am getting emotional. When can i see you?

Geetha just stood there watching him. She hadn’t seen him getting emotional like this ever. She could see that longing for his own child, that restlessness, that strange happiness on his face that couldn’t be explained in words…

Nithya: I’m on leave tomorrow. You can visit me if you want to.

*Nithya was controlling her happiness, sadness and tears all at once. *

Subhash: okay great. Will meet you tomorrow for sure. * tears flowing*

Nithya: ok

*silence on both sides*

Nithya: Bye.

Subhash: oh ya, bye…

Nithya cuts the call…

Just then a WhatsApp message appears on the phone. Subhash checks the message. It was Nithya's. She had messaged her residential address.

Subhash stands there frozen as though time had come to a standstill. He couldn’t believe that he was speaking to ‘his’ child, his and Chitra's.

Just then Geetha walked up to him and touched his shoulder. He couldn’t explain what was going through him. He sat on the sofa in deep thoughts when Geetha asked him if he was okay. Her question shook him as though lightning had struck him and he muttered, ‘ ya… I.. I.. I’m fine.

He held Geetha's hand and thanked her for being understanding, trusting and accepting him and his daughter in spite of knowing his past. He had no words to express his gratitude to her. He broke down in tears and she just hugged him back without uttering anything.

Next day they went to meet Nithya. He was nervous and excited at the same time.

Nithya stayed in a modest housing colony. They walked up through the rickety staircase and stood in front of her flat and Subhash was so nervous as he lifted his hand to ring the doorbell. Nithya opened the door and welcomed them in. She too was nervous and was avoiding looking at Subhash.

The house was a plain, simple and neat flat with limited furniture. To avoid further talks and not having the courage to face Subhash, Nithya then asked them for tea/coffee and headed towards the kitchen after hearing their option for tea. Subhash couldn’t take his eyes off her and he just wanted to hug her and cry…

Just then his eyes fell on a photograph on the wall. It was Chitra's and Nithya's picture. Subhash imagined himself too in the picture and thought of all the beautiful moments that he missed being with them. Just then Nithya appeared with tea and she caught him looking at the photograph. She told him the picture was taken a couple of years back before cancer had struck her mother.

Moments of silence ensued after that and to break that awkward silence Subhash chipped in complimenting Nithya for the tea. She gave a smile and responded with a ‘thanks’ back at Subhash.

Geetha asked Nithya of her plans and when was she leaving to Norway to which she replied, ‘in a week’s time’. Subhash’s heart just sank hearing that. He was not yet over the fact that he was united with his child after ages and now she was leaving…

It was getting late and Geetha signalled Subhash to get going else they would get stuck in the traffic. Subhash just didn’t want to leave. While at the door Subhash couldn’t control himself and he turned to Nithya and asked her for forgiveness for all that her mother and she had to undergo and face. Nithya couldn’t control herself either and just reply, ‘it's okay. Mother will be happy wherever she is and I’m happy to have seen you before leaving and thank you for visiting me’.

Subhash hugged Nithya and they both broke down. He kissed her forehead and asked her, ‘can you call me papa’? Nithya hugged him back and cried like a small child, not able to control her emotions and said, ‘I missed you, papa, all my life. Don’t leave me again ever’. Geetha too became emotional and hugged them both.

The next few days Geetha and Subhash spent all their time with Nithya and helped her with all the visa and passport formalities, shopping, lunches and dinners together, long drives… They wanted to give her all the love that she had lost on and Geetha did not want her to feel that her mother was no more and she wanted to be a mother figure to her though she always knew in her mind and heart that she would never be able to replace Chitra.

A week had passed by quickly and it was time for Nithya to leave. During their cab travel to the airport, Subhash asked her if she could stay back in India and they all could live like a happy family to which Nithya did not have any words to express her happiness. She considered herself so lucky to have Subhash as her father and Geetha as her foster mother. what else could she ask for in this life?

She told them she would think about it and would love to come back if the company would consider her request. Geetha and Subhash were thrilled on hearing that.

The flight was announced and Nithya hugged them tight and Subhash just couldn’t see her leave. He felt as though his heart was being shattered to pieces but at the same time, he wanted to see her shine in her career too.

Nithya left. Geetha and Subhash left for home with a heavy heart. They started counting days already for Nithya to return back home to them.

Nithya spent a wonderful one week with them and all through the flight all she could think of was how lucky and fortunate she was to receive her father’s love and care about a long struggle. She just wished her mother was alive to see all this but she knew in her heart that Chitra must be watching all this from the heavens above.

On landing, as Nithya switched on her phone to message Subhash informing him of her reaching, messages flashed on her screen and all were from Subhash. She clicked on each one which read, ‘ Hope you have a safe flight’, ‘Hope you sleep well on the flight’, ‘Message as soon as you land’, ‘ Take good care of yourself’, ‘ Don’t hesitate to call me if you face any issue I’ll fly and come to you’,

And lastly, the message that touched her heart and brought tears in her eyes,

‘ Missing you a lot my love.

-papa.

She texted back,

‘ Missing you too a lot papa, hugs. Love you so much’. Lots of love and hugs to Geetha aunty too.

She wiped her tears and walked out of the airport with happiness and gratitude and looked up towards the skies knowing that her mother was watching over her and always wished the best for her. She quietly whispered looking towards the skies, ‘Love you maa’.

Nithya was a confident woman now. She had her father in her life whom she could call her ‘own’. She was happy that she wasn’t alone in her life anymore and she had a family back home waiting for her.