A Dip in the Ganges

It had been eight months since my son’s birth and we were totally absorbed in taking care of him.

Becoming parents was a new experience for us and we were rather apprehensive and mindful of our new roles. We’ve always been responsible and honest in whatever we undertake and for us this was responsibility of the highest order.

I had already taken a break from my teaching career to be able to give ample time to my son and to be able to fulfill my responsibilities perfectly.

Deciding to go ahead with ‘extending our family’ had been quite a tough one for us as we both were quite apprehensive of the way ahead and the restrictions it would cause. We had been travelers and had lived a very unstructured life till then enjoying our freedom totally. It was an end to all our shenanigans. It was a conscious decision nonetheless.

Our son brought not just ecstatic joy into our lives but also a kind of fear. We were scared of not being able to live up to the roles that we were entrusted with. He was so delicate and so vulnerable that we felt almost guilty of bringing him into this big, bad world.

If he ever got a scratch or a fever, we used to get so worried and tried to find out the reason behind it so that we could eradicate the cause forever. We also ended up blaming each other a lot for whatever went wrong. We could never think of hiring someone to help me look after our son as we were too scared after listening to the horror stories that the maids were involved into. We did have a part time help to do the kitchen work. I cooked myself because once we started feeding him, we didn’t want any kind of contamination in his food.

Since my husband was still working, he used to go out into the world, meet friends and colleagues, have conversations with them and could share his apprehensions with people other than me, but I was totally bound to my new role. I had no outings, no friends and of course, no smart phones at that time. I did talk to my relatives though and that was a respite.

After about eight months of constant incarceration, I was really fed up and I told my husband that people do go out with their new born kids and they do sometimes have a good time too. He was worried that there would be infections in the outside world and there was always the fear of kidnapping too. After all we were living in the crime capital of our country. All sorts of stories that were presented in the news everyday had already made us fearful of the worst incidents happening to us.

He came home one day from his office and said that it takes about five to seven hours to reach Rishikesh and we were going there in the weekend. He asked me to pack a separate bag for our son which would include all his medicines, his food and everything else that would make his journey and stay there, comfortable. I got really nervous. It had been almost ten, eleven months since I had been anywhere except my hospital.

I was excited and anxious and was looking forward to the weekend.

My husband had called a close friend of his to accompany us so that if there was anything we had help. ‘P’ had been a close friend to both of us as he was not just a genuine human being but also as anxious as us for our baby. We believed him like we believed each other.

The journey was more or less calm as all precautions and comforts were in place due to our detailed planning.

We started a bit late as the last-minute checks were too many and we have never been early birds ever and even more so now when we couldn’t sleep a wink till the baby was sound asleep. So, finally when we reached Rishikesh it was around 6.30pm.

The cool breeze and the beautiful serene waters of the Ganges was a breathtaking sight. The sun was about to set. The birds were going back to their nests and it seemed that I had never been in a more beautiful or natural environment ever before.

We went towards the Ashram where we had booked our rooms according to the advice of ‘P’ and we didn’t really pay much attention to the rooms and immediately went towards the ‘ghat’.

The beautiful statue of lord Shiva with his hands neatly folded in his lap gave such a calming effect, soothing my tired nerves. I saw the beautiful calm water reflecting the orange sun. It was almost calling me. My gynecologist had told me during my pregnancy that bathing in the rivers was one of the most unhygienic activities for women. Her advice meant nothing to me at that time because the attractive coolness of the Ganges was almost compelling me to take a dip.

I am not just scared of waterbodies; I don’t even know how to swim! To go inside and take a dip while my husband takes care of my son was not possible as I wasn’t courageous enough to manage the dip on my own. I just wanted to take one dip. The urge was irresistible and the environment was almost compelling me.

My husband, on the other hand, is a great swimmer and a typical water baby. He immediately changed and jumped into the cool river. Watching him enjoy was another level of envy at that moment.

I must have been really emoting my feelings well as ‘P’ said to me, “Why don’t you join him? I’ll take care of the baby and you can join him there!” It sounded so convenient and a normal thing to do but I couldn’t bring myself to it.

My husband looked at me and said, “Come here, you are missing this beautiful experience! ‘P’ will hold him for a while!”

I decided to enter the water and as soon as I was beside him; I felt the blessings of lord Shiva emanating from the huge statue beside us in the water. The beautiful orange sun was right in front of us and the evening prayer bells were ringing in my ears.

My first dip seemed to wash away all my worries and fears. I looked at my son in ‘P’s arms and he was laughing showing off his two milk teeth. The embalming effect of the cool water soothed my nerves and I took another dip. We folded our hands simultaneously and stood there for about ten minutes while the prayers were being sung. It was a magical moment and I felt a surge of gratitude towards ‘P’ for making this possible for me.

I looked at him and he looked almost divine. I told him through gestures that I was coming out and he should also take a dip. He told me loudly to enjoy as he had enjoyed that ambience several times and he knew how divine it was. He told me to savour it as long as I want. I blessed him for being so caring and thoughtful and realized that it is not without reason that we call our rivers divine.

Today, the Ganges was purging me of all my sense of fear, guilt and anxiety. I realized that nothing is as important as we assume it to be. It’s all transient in this world. We must learn to live like a river, flowing constantly, purging all that comes in its way and moving on without getting stuck in rocks and caverns of our life situations.

The ever flowing and pure Ganges taught me the most important lesson of my life- to live completely in the moment!