Sometimes i wonder

Sometimes I wonder,

If maybe am trying too much,

Seeking deeply,

Working extra hard,

Chasing so long,

After something that is not mine,

Something that I will never

Be able to call mine,

After someone who will

Never glance my way,

Sometimes I wonder,

If it is all worth it,

Lying here listening to the raindrops hit the roof,

Another early morning just 

Turned into a late night, 

When all my thoughts come like a flood,

Sometimes I wonder,

That maybe it's not worthwhile,

To put in so much effort,

Just to end up lost and broken,

A dwindling light, 

A bare shadow of what you used to be,

Sometimes I wonder,

The rumblings of a deranged man