Nothing Left to Believe In

For once

I believed in Joy

I believed

That my pain would subside

My tears would run dry

And the bruises would fade

From my spirit

And the shattered fragments

Of my last pinch of sanity

But it seems

As though I had spoken too soon

For once,

I believed

In love

In life

And in unity and happiness

I believed they would heal my wounds

Relieve my suffering

And mend my broken heart

But it seems as though

These things

These feelings

Are always

Used to hurt me

I once believed

In decent people

Good-hearted and kind

Generous and fair

But it appears

As though the most beautiful angels

Are owned by the devil

Once

I believed in the real world

And a higher place when its all ending

But now

I'm not so sure

If there is anything good

Left to believe in

Sometimes I question my very existence

My world is built off of belief

Off of dreams

My world is shaped by thought and desire

But also seems

To often be blown

To smithereens

By ignorance

Evil

And greed.

Is this what hell is supposed to feel like?

Is hell simply

A state of mind

That we made up

To justify humanity's self-inflicted position?

Or are we just that ignorant

And proud

That we haven't realized

We have already pulled the last straw

Eaten the last apple

And ruined our last chance

For peace

For glory

And for redemption?