Internal bleeding

I'm not okay but I'm acting okay 

I went through so much pain 

It's not physical but it hurts physically 

I'm in depression that my anxiety is bored of me 

I wanted to kill myself every single second while I'm breathing 

My bones are cracking up with low esteem 

My blood is filled with failure 

My muscles are weaken by overthinking 

There is no hope in me 

But everyone around me 

Tells me that God can heal me 

But they are not the ones going through this.