I vs My Conditioning

For years I have been conditioned,

To think

The length of my skirt will measure my audacity,

To think

What I like is secondary

To the billion opinions of millions in the street.

I have been taught elegance and composure and beauty

Are all derivatives of innocence

Marked by silence and decorum and decency.

I have been trapped, shackled to the faith

That I've been tagged since birth

Without the chance to question it,

In the midst of exploring my sexuality and answering

To a God, I doubt the existence of.

Among the constant voices of the world,

Pushing my own down,

I have started to fear my own mind.

They've succeeded in making me ponder,

And only ponder.

Because apparently,

The most courageous act is speaking for oneself,

And below the weight of the society,

I can not seem to muster it.