I Discarded my femininity

I discarded my femininity,

I was afraid people will say I can't play football.

I discarded my femininity,

I pretended to hate barbie dolls.

I was afraid people will say she has got no dreams.

I discarded my femininity,

I pretended to hate putting on make up.

I was afraid people will say with scrunched nose, "these girls with this face can only become models".

I discarded my femininity,

I pretended to be nerd, to not know anything.

I was afraid my teachers would judge my character for a few boys had crush on me.

At times I wanted to do french braid,

Sometimes curl my hair.

I wanted to keep my nails longer and design them.

But I pretended again,

For it is girly and being girly means weak.

Being girly means demanding.

I wanted to wear pink,

I wanted to go on heels,

I wanted to show my curves and that little mole on my waist.

But l pretended not to.

I was afraid of labels I will be put into.

I was afraid of my faminine side.

I wanted to scream sometimes,

I wanted to shout sometimes,

but I pretended I was fine.

I was afraid of sexist jokes being thrown at me.

I was afraid people will say These girls ..

These girls are crazy.

I pretended...

I pretended cause l was afraid,

I didn't wanted to be labelled as girly.

I hid my femininity

I was ashamed might be, a little bit because I didn't want to be labelled as weak.