How Do You Alter Your Alter Ego?

How do you alter your alter ego?

“Alter”, being a verb, “alter ego” a noun

The subject must be the personal pronoun 

(First person); I. I am not happy. I am not content.

Tell it to be quiet; stop being critical

Give you some peace. To your internalized

“Other”, that's a start. By definition “alter ego”

Refers equally to an external being

A person that not only complements oneself 

but also completes it. That would be different 

Conversation. Our focus for this assessment

That which is internalized. Recognizable as

That insinuating, haunting voice in your head

You didn’t think it was real. Is. Cruel and teasing

Twisting your thoughts, plating havoc with your plans

then mocking you. Doesn’t yours work that way? 

It is a matter of programming your mind, correcting self-talk

Changing the continuous loop of messages in the brain.

I’m optimistic. I’ll buy that. Invoice in the mail? Metaphorically

I meant. I have neither the money nor the time.

Does it take a long time? Yes? Second and third thoughts

Have I. I’ll still be plagued by doubt in the meantime until the new

programming takes over. No deal! I’ll deal with my demons

As I have all my life. Course or not, there is truth in the principle

Of re-defining one’s self-talk, to accentuate the positive

Eliminating the negative (at least, minimising the negative)

It is part of the process of being more patient, tolerant, and less 

judgmental of ourselves. If I am to alter my alter ego I must take responsibility, 

take center stage. I suspect that the first self-talk reel began before my birth

Processing sensations, feelings, and emotions; continued into my infancy. 

Picking up on the vibrations coming from the adults in my life; Their fears, 

their insecurities; their likes, their dislikes. A process that followed me through

my school years. It took an incident of near-death to change my consciousness

I became aware of myself (equivalent to becoming self-aware?). The world was different

50 years have passed. Many of the family have entered eternity. I look at the world

In wonder for its beauty and humanity in despair, for its stubborn refusal to accept or adapt

To possibilities of change. I rage at the world. For what purpose? I am human, if humanity

is guilty of a crime; so be I, by an act of commission or omission. Alter my alter ego?

I will keep on trying; to change my behavior to let pleasure, beauty and light into my life

And maybe that voice in my head will say, “well done, Les, ready for a rest? An eternal rest?”