Forgiving The Past

Past midnight,

Nighter than most nights,

The long night,

But have you ever felt even longer? 

Indeed yes,

These are not just nights,

The time where all the resemblance are even more resembling,

It's like you are forced to watch the flashback called the reviving your past,

Pillow drowned in useless tears,

And yet tears dripping to the reason out of reach,

A moment later deep inside those tears, I m in the past,

An old me, whose emotions were just far expression,

Where a slightest of smile meant a good day,

Where the rainy mornings under the Christmas trees happened to long to a pass by,

Where words spoken were less but still enough to suffice,

Those were the days,

Blooming, blossoming with fresh sento,

With no fear to spread,

A merriment in disguise to offer,

Whether it was imaginary or real,

I found her different,

Among the flowers, leaves, and tress,

Unattached and so free,

Was it art?

The way she used to turn everything upside down,

The way she turned everything lovely and full of Colors,

The way she made me feel the warmth,

I had never felt that essence,

There was magic, 

There was this sweet dust of love,

Like the divine nature of land and sea, Indescribable,

It was like defining the love with a pearl,

Everytime I used to look at her,

Her cheeks like rose and hands like gloves,

And a saint of pure love to my eyes,

Beauty was anchored to her,

When she used to speak to me, I used to notice her lips,

Their shapes and curves when they dip,

Her beautiful eyes were nothing like ours,

So deep and bright, just like stars in nights,

She was always too bright a sky,

Always a glare to my eyes,

Like a cloud part and she glimpsed like a sunny future,

I fell for her kind eyes faster than the rain on a stormy night,

A maybe delusion in her eyes,

Off our future kites,

Which was never meant to be true,

A kind of attention which was meant to fly,

Holding which was not be grown,

My intuition of such was somewhat true,

Renowned "give all you have"

And I blindly followed,

Such was the sanity, still, 

She was not like any other word to describe but poetry to recite,

I might be the writer but she used to be the words,

But sooner or later, 

I found out,

Love was letting a heart bloom into what it desires,

And not every time together meant forever, 

It fades,

Just like staring at the feet wash away the sand at the shore,

And what are we without words and promises,

If we can't long for it,

It lost its prolonged nature,

Then she started to feel like a dream which said I can't,

I tried to cross miles for her,

Tried to anchor her and hold her hand,

But she said "there's everyone to watch us" and I said "that's what forever meant" 

Yet she drifted apart,

I saw a stranger in her eyes,

Where once I saw a soulmate,

I was shattered,

With harsh waves crushing,

With thoughts of self-doubt,

I moaned for,

Take me back to the night we met,

To revive,

It did echo her,

But she was far ashore,

Tinkling and twinkling,

I knew I was the type that gives endless chances, even she did,

But she was strong enough to let go off past,

I heard her,

I responded her not the way she used to treat me,

But the way I was,

Yet days passed on 

Still I carried the baggage of ache,

So heavy to carry,

I knew she would be vulnerable and my kind heart said yes to her vulnerability,

With her now behaviour,

Had I really known what she was and what she would become,

I would have never committed, but still

I cared about her a lot more,

Than our circumstances allowed me to,

I tried pulling myself out of the entanglement,

Of a barbed wire fence,

After all it was love,

So deep as a quicksand,

I couldn't help myself from getting drowned,

It hurt like a special kind of hell,

Knowing you betrayed a long time ago,

And now,

When I look back,

How pleady I was,

I felt pity for myself, and 

For you to have lost a royalty of loyalty, 

But,

Years-long, time passed,

I again wipe my tears,

And regret for,

The things I did for her,

But at the same time,

I am glad for,

The things I did for love.