Dear Mum
Dear Mum
Dear Mum,
while you were out
a cup went and broke itself,
a crack appeared in the blue vase
your great-great grandad
brought back from Mr. Ming in China.
Somehow, without me even turning on the tap,
the sink mysteriously overflowed.
A strange jam-stain,
about the size of a boy's hand,
appeared on the kitchen wall.
I don't think we will ever discover
exactly how the cat
managed to turn on the washer-machine
(especially from inside),
or how sis's pet rabbit went out and mistook
the waste-disposal unit for a burrow.
I can teil you I was scared when,
as if by magic,
a series of muddy footprints
appeared on the new white carpet.
I was being good
(honest)
but I think the house I had haunted so
knowing you're going to have a fit
I've gone to grans for a bit.
