Clean

Seven months have gone by;

Yet I still miss it

The need for release is all the same

My therapist once told me,

“I don’t know if this feeling will ever go away.”

He was right

My demons are real

They live and they breathe unlike any other monster I’ve ever known

But the difference between now and then is

They don’t scare me anymore

I remember being in school

Friends would say they need me, then play me like a fool

A girl once asked me,

“Why don’t you stand up for yourself?”

My only response was,

“Why would I stand up for something I don’t believe in?”

That feeling is long gone now

I may not be perfect

I may not be clean

But for the first time;

I believe in me