Black

I was afraid of it,

The blackness, the darkness.

So intimidating, so ruthless.

As it enveloped me,

My eyes refused me to see. 

As it covered me, 

My mind couldn't think.

My soul choked, begging to be let free,

I searched frantically for a ray of light,  

To dispel the black and set me free.

I longed to find comforting arms,

To hug me and calm me.

I waited for those assuring words,

"I am here."

But now, something has changed,

It no longer scares me.

The blackness, the darkness that once crippled me,

Now comforts me.

I no longer search for the ray of light,

For now, the visible truth is much, much worse.

Instead, I let the darkness blind me.

I no longer wait for solace in loving arms,

Because they aren't coming,

Instead, I let the blackness embrace me.

I no longer want to hear words,

For now, there won't be a person behind them.

Instead, I let the silence deafen me.

No, I did not succumb. I let it go.

Now, I longer yearn for a trustworthy shoulder, to cry my heart out on.

Instead, I walk in the midnight rain.

Where the showers wash my broken heart.

Now, I let my heart sink into the abyss

And eyes stare into nothing,

Because all else is gone,

And black,

Only black comforts me.