Apologize For What?

Hate the way fate makes the balance of everything,

Hate how I have to protect myself by taking a sting,

Hate how I have to meet expectations and pull the right string,

While talking to any soul that I interact with, my inventory is "2*clipped wing",

Love how people turn back on their words like instant coffee,

Love how expressing myself even to electronics has more than a small fee,

Love how I can have hundreds of people whom I know, but none interested to see,

Love how I was fooled with an inviting smile, goddamn, gee,

I never knew things would get this bad,

I never knew I'd be driven this mad,

I never knew I'd lose almost whatever I had,

I never knew I'd have to stop till here, I'm sorry dad,

Maybe you were right in what you said, maybe I'm wrong,

I didn't know what I said, didn't know what I was thinking, took me long,

To realize, but it's fine, better late than never, but this makes me strong,

It's only when a person's dead physically, that people throng,

To help them out, but it's fine I don't need any,

It's a slowly learned lesson, not an epiphany,

Although, I was never told that many,

People can look friendly, but not worth a penny,

They make promises they can't live up to,

They make promises to live up to,

But then you get just get split in two,

And then who's to blame for that? Obviously you,

Trust is formed once and broken thrice,

And then it's blamed cuz it finally dies,

Always ignored with blue ticks but told we're important, call them lies,

And asked to place the first word of the stanza again, yeah sure it'll suffice,

So that's pretty much it, or I'd call it a good start,

Thankful I can express myself openly with this art,

I can write whatever comes to me from heart,

And not fear anything, that's it for now, wait for the next part.