Anchor

I spent my entire day thinking about you

all things felt like blurred images in motion

without any definitive shapes or edges

like all their vitality had ebbed into thin air

and mixed with faded colours to paint the

night sky like a modern Van Gogh.

When I laugh with you I feel afraid - that

someday I might end up hurting you and

all the "Sorry"s and "Please Forgive Me"s

in the world wouldn't be enough.

Every moment I ask the silence of this room

- What do I feel? Is this love?

and I don't know the answer yet or whether

any language has the words to convey what

goes on in my heart or head.

Time and again I've been swallowed by darkness

I tried to fight it, outrun it, light up myself but

now I'm tired. I just want to sit and let it engulf

me, bathe me in its putreying black flames.

Yet some part of me wants to be saved by

you. Like a thousand blinding suns break

me free from this cage I built to keep the

monsters within. 'Cause you're my anchor

to reality, my north star guiding me back

Home.