STORYMIRROR

Saptarshi Chakraborty

Abstract

4  

Saptarshi Chakraborty

Abstract

aftermath of a relationship

aftermath of a relationship

2 mins
302


it feels suffocating to be alone with

my thoughts, twirling around in this

hazy quagmire.

I want to die

(swear to God, I want to die)

I don't want to listen to your voice

or fall prey to those idiosyncrasies

which I loved deeply.

For fuck's sake

I don't want to read your texts

and be swayed off my feet with

your "Honey, sweetie, darling..."

You ruined my life

took away every good thing

I had experienced and turned it

into a heap of dogshit and catpiss.

Don't pinch my nose

or squish my cheeks as if

kissing me would soothe me and

make it all hurt just a little less.

The biggest lie I've ever told

myself is that I didn't feel anything

towards you, yet all this while

I was prayi

ng and dying to spend the

rest of my life by your side.

I love you.

I love the smell of your hair,

your naughty smile,

your soft hands and fingers,

that motherly warmth every

time you hug me,

the way you make butterflies

fly around in my stomach

every time you call me.

Why? Oh, why did it have to end?

Was this affection just a facade

to manipulate me?

to abuse me?

to take up space in my brain

and tie a knot around my neck

with my intestines?

the moment I couldn't help you

anymore, you trampled over whatever

was left of my diginity and self-esteem.

I am no longer human

I am a shadow who fears the light

I am the tree with no fruit to give back

all because of you, bitch.


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