A Winter Colder Than Ever

November has arrived, with its entourage of winter's telltale signs,

As the morning dew envelopes the lawn's grass growing in squiggly, recalcitrant lines. 

The sun, once an oppressive tyrant, from whom one must perpetually hide

Is now our benevolent messiah, as we rapturize about its warmth and light. 

Incorrigible optimist that I am - to convince myself, I strive

That the days aren't noticeably shorter, that it shall be a while before the frosty chill does arrive. 

For I know winter shall be harder to endure this year,

I've lost my mantle that fortified and warmed me, one so beloved, so dear. 

Winter was one of life's umpteen curve balls you made survivable for me,

The embers in my life's fireplace glowed brighter owing to the warmth they borrowed off thee. 

"Jesus was definitely born in the northern hemisphere, 

Or how would literally every Christmas decor have snow?" 

you'd once asked rhetorically. 

Your questions, your inimitable humor made life's every low 

Seem like just yet another puny obstacle, one that I could step around nimbly. 

Now, the excruciating vacuum manifests as a vicious creature

-One that you've always prevented from inhibiting my nightmares-

As its claws rankle across my chest, tracing contours of pain, it always lurks quite near. 

As my eyes search the skies, delusional enough to spot familiar shapes in some mildly incongruous cloud,

I can hear the beast pacing within me, its growls growing terrifyingly loud. 

I wonder whether the privilege of your company shall return

Pretending not to know the answer - a firm 'never'. 

And while I'd love to persuade myself otherwise,

This just might be my coldest winter ever.