Air rushed through my face and filled me with emotions. Surrounded in the "blue" black midnight with alcohol in my hand, my fragile emotions made me drink more. Hadn't I been a normal person before meeting him ? Emotions mixed up giving me a satisfied feeling of having him around me. Long lost my days of happiness. Being alcoholic I did lose myself for the love I cherished to be forever. For the forever that was meant to stay did go away.
I wondered what would I have been today if that one reason to break wouldn't have arisen. That bold and strong nature of mine with a soft corner for him made me go through a lot which I never expected to be.
Was infatuation really a reason to break up with me ?
Infatuation was what he always had towards me. Loving was always what I did. Digging a whole everyday in my heart and and putting my feelings inside it has become regular. Drinking alcohol is a must to overcome these. Being a clown in his so called circus was what my role was to play. Being a toy he loved the most to play with is what I was , was I supposed to face all these ? Had I been so different if that would have never been a reason to break. Toxics inside me were bleeding, could he ever just understand what did I go through ? Drinking everyday for the person I wished to be forever has become my life. Life Being An Alcoholic .