Believing in the Impossible

Yet I still believe...

So if you know me or follow me you know that I am a huge believer. I never throw my belief in anyone's face because there are many people in this world that believe in different things and hey, whatever gets you through your day is fine with me. I only speak of what does it for me, if that works for you as well great, if not… do you Boo.

I know that in the last 9 years my faith has gotten me through so many things I could have never by myself. Amazing miracles, crazy things that have happened to me. I have so many "God stories" so many testimonies of his grace and his goodness in my life 

On days I thought I could no longer hold on, on days when I wanted to give up, when I was in such pain, my faith kept me afloat, my faith literally saved my life.

Even saying all that, I am human and sometimes as humans we falter and we question. There have been many nights that I cried myself to sleep. Many times I asked why? Why is my ex husband still living the same lifestyle that I worked years into building with him as I struggle with 3 jobs now? Where is karma?

Many times as I see others in happy relationships that I ask where is the man you have for me?

I cry out to God, why did you give me this purpose if you don't want me to use it, why can't I do this full-time as you know my heart?

Yes, many times I question God and his plans for me. Sometimes I look over my remember when on Facebook and see how many times I said I believe this will happen and yet years later here I still am but yet I still believe...

How many times have I cried the same tears asking the same things, for how many years… and yet I still believe…

How many times have I lost friends or saw people moving into their purpose and I am still talking about mine even though I do all the work, everyday and yet I still believe….

How many times have I spoken and envisioned my Ny Times best-selling book and me speaking on stages to inspire others with my testimony, my international blog and yet although it has not come to pass...yet I still believe….

I've learned no matter what, no matter what storm I am going through, I hold on to my faith. No matter how bad it seems, I hold on. No matter how long it is taking, I hold on. When the world is laughing at me, telling me to give it up, I hold on. No matter how many troubles come my way. How many people I love that I lose, how much I struggle to keep it together...I still hold on.

See my faith is what keeps me going, it's what gets me through my darkest days. My faith is not based on my time but his and I know that he's done it before and he'll do it again. I must learn to be patient. I must learn to hold on to this faith no matter what.

So today my friends, I know that when I am writing from my heart, when I am hurt and feeling down I know that others are going through it as well. 

So this is for all of us, the not perfect Christians who question God. Us who want it now, who are still hanging on by a thread… hold on...keep the faith, no matter what, don't stop believing.

We have seen first hand what he can do, we have seen his good works in our lives time and time again, hold on…

These are just lessons we have to learn, this is more tests for our testimonies. Follow my lead, know it's okay to be human, to screw up, to not always do the right thing. Just remember who Jesus picked for his disciples, a liar, a thief, a trader, a prostitute...not perfect people just like us.

He will still come through for you, he will come through for me because.. 

yet we still believe.