The Dark Hole Of Depression
The Dark Hole Of Depression
As I try to climb out of this hole I dug,
I am pulled in by a force unknown
and thrown into the vast expanse
known as the universe.
As I wonder;
if my feet will ever touch the ground
or if my hair will feel the wind;
I am hurled right back in.
The suffocation I feel is toxic;
maybe it’s the scorching heat
or maybe it’s the piercing cold water,
the paradox is what makes me laugh.
I am sinking to the bottom
so I flail about;
I can barely see the sun.
The paradox is not funny anymore.
I try to regain composure,
I fight with all my strength,
and try to reach the shore.
I don't question my presence here,
I go with the flow.
Maybe I am fighting hard,
maybe I am strong,
maybe just maybe;
there is the tiniest possibility
that I am enough.
Now, I see people around. &
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My confidence grows
my faith rises.
One by one they reach the shore
and crawl out of the water.
I have hope anew.
But I make a mistake
I blink and I see a change.
It's loud and noisy
I cannot take it any longer.
I scream for it to stop.
No, I beg for it.
And I close my eyes for a second,
just for a second.
The noise stops,
and I open my eyes
The crowd has vanished,
so has the shore.
I am back in the middle of the ocean.
I am back in the unknown.
I am back in that black hole.
And in that moment,
that tiny moment,
before I get flung into outer space
or thrown into that terrible hole,
I forget how to breathe.