Freely Floating Frustrations

Sometimes when I open my eyes

And there’s something akin to failure caught between my fingers,

I am in a different world than yours.

A world where I’m nothing and everything,

Enveloped in this all encompassing disappointment 

That seems thicker than the blood in my veins.

Three summers passed with the same mistakes

Too many sunsets where gold turned to ink;

Time flew by with dreams that never existed to begin with.

There is no greater pain than wasted potential,

Nothing was ever more wrong than forgiving yourself for it.

A tad narcissistic, some would call it;

Living, breathing and continuing on in this blurry world with blurry people.

My lips are blue now from the rain that’s falling indoors,

And the only thing clear is my guilt.

But guilt morphs into sorrow like sorrow bleeds into anger

And all I ever feel is a muted buzz in the back of my skull.