You Are Or You Are Not!

"Any order, sir ?" When the waiter asks for the fourth time, I resentfully walk off the door. There's a celestial peace outside that eases me more now than the loud musics, mid-night parties and wine glasses. Specifically, the futile crowd of strangers inside the clubs suffocates me.

When I lit another cigarette, a soft voice touches my ears from behind, "Excuse me." And I instantly realize that my act of turning around is nothing but having a pleasure for my eyes. As I start drowning in her deep shimmering ocean-like eyes, I hardly notice her face which has seemed little familiar to me after awhile.

"Hey Ahaan !" Her soft pink lips scream.

"Tanya?"

"Yeah. So nice to meet you man."

"Same here. It's been eight years I guess." 

Tanya Mehra was the first girl I dated. Although our relationship ended when we bid farewell to our college, it took her a lot of time to get over me. I often wonder what if she still loves me for it was me who had initiated the breakup.

"Well, you've not changed a bit." She chuckles.

"And you've done a lot." As I say, my eyes measure her from head to toe. This was not the same girl, I had known in my college days. The Tanya who hated makeup, loved to dress simply didn't resemble to this girl standing afore me in anyway who is wearing a blue shirt whose first three buttons are left unbuttoned and a short which is exhibiting her thin leg perfectly.

"I think I should leave now. It's quite late."

"Where?"

"I live in Kalyani Road. So I would need to take a cab."

"I don't think you'll get any right now."

"Let's see."

As she stands beside me, I cannot get my eyes off her even for a twink. I can't believe that I hadn't drowned in her deep eyes, kissed her soft lips, tasted her creamy cheek even for once while staying with her for almost a year which now I bet can enthrall any being in no time.

"I guess you're right." She says after waiting for half an hour.

"Why don't you come to my place ? I mean it's only five minutes walk from here. If you don't mind, you may stay there for tonight."

"Well, seems like I've no other option."

-

"Have you noticed that you're becoming a chain smoker Ahaan?" Tanya asks little irritatingly noticing that this is the ninth cigarette I'm lighting after meeting her.

"Cigarette seems sexy to me."

"And Saumya?"

"She doesn't find me anymore."

"What?"

"Yeah. After a five years of relationship, she suddenly found out last month that we've no compatibility."

Tanya comes closer to me and puts her hand on my shoulder.

"You know Tanya, I often regret for leaving you for this girl. I don't know if I'll find anybody like you again.Sorr.."

"Sshh." She puts her index finger on my lips while her blue eyes get little poachy.

"I still love you as much as I used to do." She whispers gently in my ears. I instantly hug her as much tightly as I can. After quite a long hug, I softly kiss her forehead and then her neck, her creamy cheek and slowly our lips get locked. I lift her up and take her to my bedroom. I drop her on my bed and start unbuttoning her shirt gradually. She sits wrapping her legs around my loin and closes her eyes. I keep on licking her bare body. I make sure to put a kiss on every single organ she possesses and she reciprocates. The fragrance of her tender skin is driving me crazy. When I proceed to kiss her lips again, I suddenly remember that I've forgotten to lock the front door.

"Just a second." As I stand up and switch on the light, I get stunned to meet no one in the room. The bed seems as it is as I've left it while leaving for the club. I look for Tanya everywhere but get none. I cannot sleep for the rest of the night.

-

It's been two days and I'm still sinking in her blue deep eyes. I've searched her on every social media platform but get no clue about her. Casually I recall her address which she mentioned that night.

"Sir there are only two bungalows on Kalyani Road." The cab driver informs me. It has taken me almost an hour to reach there. When I get out of the cab, I witness two houses standing exactly opposite each other. As I press the bell of one house, a middle-aged man opens the door.

"Uncle, does Mehra family live here ?"

"They used to do there." He says pointing to the other bungalow.

"I mean Tanya Mehra?"

"Yes, after a week of Tanya's death, her parents left this place forever and it's been two years of this incident, why are you asking now?" I stand there numb unable to believe my ears.